#I just didn’t have the juice after July unfortunately

[longhands-the-second]

HI! If you’re reading this, you’re going through my shit (Or you follow me. Hi! There’s 6 of you and I appreciate you all very much lol). Thanks for that! I love attention.

I wanted to take a second and, while not in the tag (therefore to the void), express my gratitude to everybody who did the bookclub. Y’all really brightened my days, and it was really nice to be apart of a group of equally Normal people enjoying something in an Average and Not At All Obsessive way. Everybody posting meta is fucking awesome and big brained and good at making things make sense. I loved seeing everybody else’s reactions! It’s the closest thing I’ve had to a movie theater experience in a long time. I’m especially happy to hear that it’s going to happen again- and Boy do I have some plans.

My goal is to have colored pages ready for the next run of trigun bookclub! I’m thrilled to death that we’re doing it again and I’m already super excited. I really regret falling off in the latter half. I got busy with school stuff and, frankly, did not want to make myself read volume 10. HOWEVER, I do have roughly 30 pages ready in the meantime, and I’m excited to share once the time rolls around. I’m doing it like this in an effort to pace myself and do good work instead of rushing to get it all done by a certain deadline. I was, uh, very taken by several scenes, and I felt I didn’t do them justice by the time I was done with them. Odds are I’ll rework the existing pages a fair bit because the color balance isn’t a clean and cohesive as I would like, and finding out that certain characters did in fact have canon colors is going to take me minimum 4 hours to fix. Additionally, I’ve read the good people of the Trigun Overhaul project are reworking some of their splash page scans, and if that’s the case I may use those instead (therefore a little more fixing time). Absolutely owe everyone working on it so much, and while I cannot offer a firstborn, I can offer my mad scribbling. All of that being said, my plan is to do at least a few pages per volume. That’s all, folks! See you next time!

[fereldanwench]

A Personal, and Final, Reflection on A Certain Fandom

Having spent the past week and a half away from the Tumblr side of the C*b*rp*nk community after a resurgence of old wank (not hashing out the details–IYKYK), I heavily weighed the pros and cons of saying anything else. Ultimately, I decided for my own peace of mind and ability to fully move forward, I do want to say a few things (or a lot of things, given how long this is). This blog is my personal archive first and foremost, and I think writing a “final chapter” will help me find closure. I’m also choosing to publish this because, at the risk of sounding presumptuous, I think my mistakes and subsequent revelations might be good learning experiences for others, too. 

Like many of us, just by the nature of when this game was released, I entered this fandom during a very fragile, tumultuous time in my life–Well, sort of, let me back it up a little: I actually initially entered it during a great time in my life. It was July 2021, I had just enjoyed about 6 weeks off from work after quitting a demanding job that had sucked the life out of me for almost 10 years, and I had started a promising new job. I even bought the game with the first paycheck from said new job!

Unfortunately, while I had been told that this position was temp-to-hire, not only was it not a path to a permanent role, but because I completed all the work in my contract over a month sooner than they anticipated (early September vs late October), I was being let go early because they had nothing else for me to work on. I was literally told over the phone, “You did amazing work, you got us caught up through November, but we don’t have anything else for you.”

Cue about 6 months of recruiters ghosting me, exhausting interview processes, demoralizing rejections, and scam upon scam upon scam, all culminating in me returning to the job I had been so happy to leave a year earlier. And while my old coworkers were ecstatic to have me back, I couldn’t help but feel like a complete failure. I took what I thought was a calculated risk, I thought I could do something better for myself, and I couldn’t. It’s something I’m still struggling with today, honestly.

On top of this, I also experienced a debilitating physical health episode in January 2022 which led to me being effectively bedridden for about 3 weeks. [CW: Menstruation, sexual health] I’m not sure of the exact cause–maybe a bad reaction to emergency contraception, maybe unsafe menstrual underwear, but it resulted in menorrhagia so severe I fainted from blood loss. My insurance had literally just ended, another wave of COVID was hitting, and I didn’t want to risk getting infected sitting in an ER for hours only to rack up a few thousand in debt to get a blood transfusion. So rest, iron supplements, and lots of meat and spinach and orange juice was the best I could do.

All of this led to my world becoming very small. I wasn’t working, I could barely do my hobbies or see my local friends, and simple everyday tasks like showering drained me of all my energy. When I was stuck in bed and could barely keep my eyes open for more than a few hours at a time, gossip was a welcome, low-effort distraction from the physical pain and fear that I might either have to put myself in thousands of dollars of medical debt or risk lifelong damage (or worse) from the blood loss.

I also found myself having groups of friends in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’m extremely introverted (even online, though less so than IRL), I have social anxiety, and the handful of times I have been “in” a group I was never really in it. I was always on the outskirts and usually just close to one or two people, max.

Regretfully, this set the stage for me to get caught up in the culture of rumors and speculation that permeates this fandom more than I think it has any other fandom I’ve been a part of.

Academically, I know about things like groupthink and tribalism, and I could see how those influenced the groups developing in the fandom, but I had no direct, personal experience with those phenomena. I think in conjunction with the other struggles I was dealing with, I ended up being incredibly susceptible to an us-versus-them mentality, which led me to feel justified in being unkind to people I knew had been unkind to my friends, even if deep down I knew what I was doing was antithetical to who I strive to be. 

I don’t share any of this for sympathy points or to smear anyone else or to avoid accountability–I still chose to act like an ass on a couple of occasions, and regardless of what I was going through, that was still inappropriate. I’m still responsible for my own behavior no matter what’s going on. 

But I do want to contextualize my fuck-ups for two reasons:

The first reason is ego-driven, full-stop. Not even gonna gloss it over. I can’t defend being an asshole nor do I want to, but I think it’s normal and healthy to look back on your mistakes and go, damn, why the hell was I acting like this? 

Even on my best days, I can be very stubborn and self-important and pedantic and judgemental, and I certainly can’t say that I’ve never inadvertently offended someone–Sometimes a joke might not land as I hoped. Sometimes I get tangled up in my own thoughts, burdened by an excess of nuance and details, and I express things poorly while I try to account for all sides of things. Sometimes I can get a little too opinionated about blorbo stuff. Sometimes there might just be a full communication breakdown or an insurmountable personality clash–But I can also confidently say that I have acted with good intentions in this fandom far, far more than I have with spite or because of petty rivalries.

And when I did get caught up in the drama and gossip and the wank? I was literally at the lowest point I’d been in a very, very long time. 

Again, because I feel like I can’t say this enough, that doesn’t make acting like a dick in a Discord server any more excusable, that doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt anyone, and that doesn’t mean that someone I hurt during that time has to forgive me or stick around for me to grow. Hurting someone because you’re hurting is still not okay. But I’m pretty sure every single one of us has had a bad day (or two or three or 365 or–) and made an isolated bad decision (or two or three or–) because of it–None of us deserve to be wholly defined by those moments or denied a chance to learn from those mistakes and be better.

And I think the most important takeaway for me personally is that I have learned from these mistakes and I have not repeated them. Some of these mistakes even helped me realize that I needed professional support for my mental health, and they played a role in my seeking medication and therapy last year. I still have a lot of work to do, but the silver lining to all of this is that I am in a much better place today than I was 2 years ago (even if this year also fucking sucks for non-fandom reasons and I would still very much like a goddamn break.)

The other reason I wanted to share my journey of navel-gazing and healing a wounded ego ~*self-discovery*~ is I think there’s a very good chance my story might sound familiar to others in the fandom. Maybe someone else can learn from my hardships and mistakes, too. Maybe you too were dealing with chronic fatigue or mental health issues or financial stress or isolation or all of the above and then some, and it led you to fixate on things that were harmful to you, to form unhealthy relationships with equally hurt people, and to act in a way that you know doesn't reflect who you are. The past several years have been so hard on so many of us, and I think we’ve all brought a lot of pain and misery into the community even if we weren’t trying to.

A somewhat shameful realization I had last year was I could recognize that kind of behavior in other people, but I completely missed it in myself. I could see how people were making this fandom their whole world and how it was so damaging to them, but I was doing the exact same thing and I just let it go completely unchecked because I thought I knew better. It was a brutal lesson in the pitfalls of pride. 

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So I was initially thinking at this point, I would take the time to address a few specific lies, rumors, and insinuations that have been said about me over the past couple of years. Because while I was a jerk in a couple of situations, most of the things said about me are exaggerations, if not outright fabrications.

And I did start writing a lot of that out, but as I was doing it, I was just overcome with a huge feeling of OH MY GOD I just don’t fucking care anymore. As one of my dear, long-time fandom friends has pointed out, there’s a great line about just this kind of thing from one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite games: “Why should it [bother me]? They don’t know me. I know me.”

I also really don’t want to run the risk of pulling anyone back into the fray (especially if they’re not even in the fandom anymore or if we’ve talked privately about certain issues) by even alluding to shit that happened years ago.

Instead, I would like to offer three of my big takeaways from the experience of being falsely accused of awful things:

You do not know nearly as much as you think you know about people’s fandom relationships. The one semi-specific thing I will mention is that I had been explicitly named a few times as being in cahoots with people I don’t think I ever even spoke to or that I had already drifted away from–Just because you saw two people existing in the same public space doesn’t mean they’re besties, bestie. Also, friends don’t always have to agree with each other, nor should we be expected to participate in a public spectacle of shaming if we do have a disagreement. People are allowed to resolve their differences privately.  

Not all conflicts/disagreements are inherently abusive or toxic. When you are hurting or dealing with unresolved trauma or starting to confront uncomfortable truths about yourself, the slightest disagreement can feel like a personal attack, but that doesn’t mean it is. Sometimes differences might be irreconcilable, but sometimes they might not be if you don’t automatically assume the worst of someone with a different perspective than you. Sometimes we just need to give the other person a little grace and the benefit of the doubt that they’re doing their best. And sometimes we might need to consider that it’s actually our own behavior driving the conflict and not the other person.

Even in situations when someone has clearly been unfairly targeted/victimized, that doesn’t mean they can’t also be a perpetrator of harassment/abuse to someone else. Victim and abuser are not mutually exclusive roles. I would wager a lot of us are familiar with the cyclical nature of abuse, and to quote a line from one of my favorite movies (admittedly a bit of a flippant line in the context of the film, but it still rings true): hurt people hurt people. Accountability for shitty behavior is never conditional, regardless of the pain we’re experiencing. 

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I titled this my final reflection, and I want to clarify what that means:

First of all, I’m not leaving this fandom (don’t everyone clap at once ha ha ha). I’ve been in various online fandoms since the early 00s, and while this has been one of the more challenging communities for me to navigate, it’s not enough to make me give up something I love this much. My blorbos are my perpetual muses, and I feel like virtual photography is the creative outlet I’ve been searching for my entire life. I love this game and hobby too much to stop creating and sharing.

I’m also not leaving Tumblr. While I’ve had this specific account since 2016, I’ve been here since 2010–Tumblr is not just this fandom for me. I have many friends (some I’ve known since my original account in 2010!) from other fandoms, and I’m not losing the best place to hang out with other people who are special to me just because one fandom got a little unpleasant. (I mean, look, I weathered the DA fandom here circa 2012-2015–This ain’t my first rodeo.) I also have a lot of hope for the Tumblr Communities feature, and I’m really hoping the VP community we’ve set up can continue to grow and flourish.

But I am no longer addressing any of this wank. If you have a problem with something I’ve done or said to you and you want to address it with me directly (preferably in a private space just so we don’t keep putting this shit on people’s dashboards), I am open to conversation and apologizing where needed.

Otherwise, this is the last time I’m talking about it anywhere. Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, publicly, privately–I’m done. I’m washing my hands of it. I don’t want to hear anything else about what other people have done or who they’re friends with or who they’re following or what they’re saying about me or my friends or any of it. This bullshit has taken up too much of my time and energy, and I have very important smutty shots to take. 

And I am probably going to continue to be less active in the fandom on Tumblr, at least for a while. You probably won’t see me here much until September at the earliest. This time away has been really good for me, and I think I need to continue with limited Tumblring and making the time I am here more structured. Plus, with some of my other fave video game series returning this fall, my blog will probably shift back to a more well-balanced multi-fandom space. 

I’m also going to need to diversify my dash a little bit more, which means I will likely end up unfollowing some mutuals, particularly if we don’t interact often, if you don’t tag, or if I see any mention of fandom drama–It’s nothing personal, but I know breaking mutualship can hurt a little, so if following me after that makes you uncomfortable in any way, please don’t feel like you have to stick around. I totally get it. Similarly, if it would make you uncomfortable for me to continue to interact with your posts after unfollowing (because I probably will if you post in certain tags), please feel free to block me. 

Okay. Christ, that was long. Shut the fuck up already, right? This is why I can't do social media with character limits. ghdfjgjhkfdgkfdg

Seriously, though, that's it. People are welcome to comment on this post if they want, but I really have nothing else to say about any of this so please don’t be offended if I don’t reply. I’m not ignoring you, I’m just… Well, done.

[gdmbrwiththerealcrew]

Day 9 - July 7th

With all our gear washed and food resupplied we left our Zero Day hotel before 8am. The first 40+ miles of our route were paved and relatively flat so we knocked them out in under 4 hours.

Along the way we pedaled past Lois & Gary and they gave us his signature salute and called us pussies as we went by. I thought they were headed to Washington, so why they were headed east was a mystery to me. I think they may have been going in the wrong direction. But hey, they’ve traveled across the country multiple times so I guess they knew what they were doing.

From Whitefish, we headed through Columbia Falls and south to Echo Lake through the Flathead valley. David and I had taken a similar route from south to north in 2018. At the time most of the land was being used for agriculture. Now, the valley is pocked with new homes. Some McMansions Montana style. It was surprising to see how much change has taken place.

Downtown Columbia Falls.

As we proceeded, we saw multiple signs for tour divide. One offered camping to any riders and another marking the miles between Banff and Antelope Wells. At the latter sign, a gent recommended a restaurant, the Echo Lake Café. He said the crêpes were excellent. So 10 miles down the road we came upon the restaurant, grabbed seats at the coffee bar, and proceeded to order breakfast. Everything was quite delicious, including the crêpes. The high school kids working the counter were quite generous with lemonade, orange juice, and tea refills. They were also quite curious about our ride and what we were up to. After espressos to wrap up our meal, we rested outside in the grass for a half hour, then hopped on our bikes to finish the day.

Free camping!

We had ridden almost 400 miles at this point.

Miles 45 to 55 were all climbing but miles 55 to 65 were all descending. Both are tough in their own way. With climbing you just have to get in a rhythm and grind it out. With descending you have to concentrate on your line as you proceed downward while staying relaxed enough to absorb changes in the road surface. In both cases you just want to stay up on the bike.

Just another climb.

In the middle of the climb we came upon a guy pulling a trailer with his bike. Like so many others, he was headed to Antelope Wells and maybe beyond. If was quite relaxed about he overall destination and even his destination for the night. Due to mechanical problems he had only covered 5 miles for the day and it was already mid-afternoon. He said he’d stop whenever he felt the urge. Needless to say, we never saw him again.

Most of our gravel riding today was is thick forest so we didn’t see much. The first 40 miles offered wonderful views of the mountains, however.

Flathead Valley views.

More Flathead Valley.

On the descent.

Our campgrounds was in Swan Lake. Unfortunately, the lake is hidden beyond the trees. The Swan Lake Trading Post is privately owned and the owner was greeting us before we clipped out of our pedals. We already had reservations so all she could do was sell us on the features of the place… showers, flush toilets, cold beer, ice cream!

As we walked to our cabins, we ran into the three riders we met in Whitefish two days ago. John, John, and Nick are riding the same route as us so we expect to see them several more times. We dropped off our stuff and sat with them over beers on the back porch of the trading post. We shared stories about other riders and compared notes for the next couple days.

Ed’s favorite beer! Not.

After dinner we got huckleberry shakes and then hit the sack. Tomorrow is scheduled to be a 55 mile day with lots of up and down. We will need the sleep.

Cheers.

Ride stats:

Miles ridden: 67.3

Elevation gain: 3,500 ft

Max elevation: 4,941 ft

Total descent: 3,461 ft

Start time: 7:54am

Moving time: 6:03:32

Elapsed time: 8:38:56

Ave speed: 11.1 mph

[jasminebutintaiwansojiemin]

July 19th, 2024 星期四 - Gold Museum, Exploring 九份, Setting Off 燈籠

Today was very long, but we got to travel a lot and see more of the mountains and greenscape that we can’t see in the city. We began our day by taking a coach bus to the gold museum. The drive was very very long, but we got to see the absolutely gorgeous ocean from a very high point. We got to visit several sites at the museum as we walked through it. At one of the sections, there was an interactive mining game, where you scan a QR code, pick your cursor color/shape, and then play a game to dig out ores. At the end, the game shows the different percentages of ores that were mined.

At the gold museum we also got to see and touch a large variety of rocks/minerals/metals. Some were dull and brittle, while others were colorful and shimmery. There was also the HUGE gold brick that visitors were encouraged to try to pick it up (our tour guide said if we could pick it up, we could keep it). I did indeed try my hand at lifting it, but I fear that I too was unsuccessful and will unfortunately continue to be poor :(

I ended up buying a couple of goodies at the gift store— a gold metal fish bookmark and some porcelain calico cat chopstick holders. Somehow when I tried to use Apple Pay, the POS system broke itself so there was a bit of a tussle trying to fix it. Everyone else after me in line had to use cash :/

Our next activity was taking another drive to Jiufen, a neighboring mountainside town that had a crazy intricate system of colorful shops, food stalls, and tea houses. I explored the shops with some of my classmates as we looked for a teahouse to have lunch in. I did find a jewelry store with Chinese traditional earrings, but I wanted to look at other options and forgot so I never returned. We ended up finding a teahouse with an amazing view of the mountains and sparkling blue ocean. To get there, we had to travel through the small rock tunnel passageway that was pretty cool. I’ll be honest, I didn’t LOVE the tea. It was a cool experience getting so see the tea ceremony and such but as a colonizee of England, I fear I might have to stick with adding sugar in my tea :( I ordered salt and pepper shrimp, but the shrimp was WHOLE with the head, shells, and legs….but I championed through.

After lunch, we explored some more and encountered a lot of very cute animals on the way. At the very end, I FINALLY find a store that sold qipaos, but it was kind of expensive and the options were limited so I opted to try buying it again later. We stopped along the way to get watermelon juice, something I’ve seen different vendors selling all over Taipei. It was pretty tasty and relatively cheap. We eventually met back with the rest of the class and took another long bus ride to another museum that was unfirtenyl closed. In its place we set off lanterns instead. We got to use calligraphy brushes and ink to write our hopes and dreams on the lanterns before the attendants helped set them up to be lit. We all got to take a video of us lifting off our lanterns and watching them float off into the distance. It was pretty cool. It felt like those scenes in traditional Chinese dramas.

After the lanterns, we hung out in that area for a bit and tried scallion pancakes. I got all the toppings on my scallion pancake because i wanted to try it in its intended? form and I’ve always seen them in Korean dramas. It was pretty tasty, but perhaps if I get it again, I’ll get it just plain. There were also options to add egg or American cheese but I passed on those. Our professor’s husband later told us that he was really happy we all tried the scallion pancake since it’s one of his favorite foods in Taiwan which was super sweet <3 (that’s father for real!).

Later we headed home on the bus and i settled into bed after a long day of traveling and seeing new things!

Academic Reflection

The now popular tourist attraction of Jiufen originally started off as a village of nine families that eventually turned into a town after gold was discovered in the nearby Kauhun hills. It peaked during the Japanese occupation of Taiwan, and houses sprung all over from people moving to mine for gold. Water ran so freely though the town that even in front of people’s doorsteps could they bend down and feel gold in the water. Unfortunately during World War 2, Jiufen was used a prisoner of war camp for Allied soldiers captured in Singapore. At camp Kinkaseki, the POWs were forced to work in the gold mines and the camp had the majority of deaths that occurred in all fourteen POW camps in Taiwan.

Also, I did some research into scallion pancakes, because something our tour guide said made me slightly confused. Our tour guide made a comment about how scallion pancakes are endemic to that area we were in, but I’ve long heard of 파전 (Korean scallion pancakes) even before I ever started studying Chinese. Even the sign at the scallion pancake shop said 파전 on it. After doing some research, I found a very humorous accusation that pizza is really just a copy of a scallion pancake. Apparently the story goes that Marco Polo missed scallion pancakes so much when he returned to Italy, that he asked his chef friends to recreate it. Eventually he asked them to put the toppings on top instead of inside, and the pizza as we know it was born! (Allegedly). Of course this story isn’t real but I think it’s hilarious considering the other stories I’ve heard about things being stolen from China such as pasta from noodles.

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 29]

Topics: The Poor (Work/Hours/Wage)/Shopping/Work Birthday/The Pipe Situation/Living Arrangements

Using this as means to correct my last post.

The poor has resumed, but my head coach asked me to stay longer yesterday which doubled my hours. It mostly consisted of various cleaning tasks. Garbage, bathrooms, scrubbing floors, it was outrageous, but money is money. I considered using this income to buy Jordans (I don’t even like Jordans anymore). Also, not the new releases. I also considering them including white and not matching my color theme. I gazed over a few at the new store I’ve been going to and thought, “Maybe they have some I like, I’ll check again.”. I also considered jeans as well (or both).

Today is my former favorite coworker’s birthday. Yesterday my head coach got him a cake. It was ironically, the one I considered buying myself to celebrate my birthday this year (oreo cake). He offered everyone slices. I finally took food offered at work for the first time since about July.

*10 months. The pipe held for 10 months, we’re going on month 11, so this would be the 11th month. Technically the 12th, not sure if I started on New Years or New Year’s Eve. I had just came home from work that night. My housemate was oblivious to the pipe situation. It turns out the other washer is here, she just moved it and put it in a drawer. It is currently still not being used. I went to the hardware store while I was doing laundry to look for new pipes and washers. I found some, but was not prepared to buy, just checking it out. I’d never been there before. She called the neighbor over to fix it when I got back. He did no such thing. He attached the pipe, put the bowl I was using to catch the water (and dump outside every use) underneath it so it held in place. I didn’t check until today because when leaving I heard him say, “It should hold, I’ll be back in a few days to finish it.”. I considered not using it until he came back. To see if it’d fall off again. While at work I said, “Fuck it, I’m not starving.”.

I made some noodles today. Apparently the drain is just clogged. I considered getting draino, but I’ll probably just end up abandoning the ramen noodle diet unfortunately and all home cooking. With no kitchen sink, I refuse to use any other methods. I will most likely just revert to the snack diet (candy and chips, possibly fruit juice). Requires a lot of teeth brushing, but that’s fine.

This also means I cannot move. Between the pipes and her daughter’s dog ruining the carpet, I cannot see myself not having to pay after doing so. One of those situations no longer exists, but you can see why all dogs should go to heaven, “expeditiously” - Kodak Black. The winter will be a wild ride, not sure how I’ll manage with just chips. I MAY find something else to eat, but if it requires dishes, consider it out of my diet. Unsure of what to do with these packs of Ramen Noodles, there are about 80+ left.

I may have to wait until one of the neighbors move and get a 2nd apartment here, for cooking…and fucking these bitches. I may not even have to, but I see this as a very likely option.

- MH (2023)

[11/09/2023 - 3:23PM]

[blush-and-books]

College AU, Fluff, Meeting, Screenplay

after spending 20 minutes panicking about the fact that you sent me a request. i watched some modern family. and then buckled up to write a little college au for you. yes they are at usc lmao. julie is in the john wells screenwriting program and luke doesn’t specify in this but in my head he’s a business major. enjoy and thank you so much for making me briefly lose my mind

Julie didn’t realize that she had stayed past her reserved time. 

Not a single part of her had been keeping track -- she was much too enthralled in finishing her draft of the pilot episode of her television drama. It was a portion of one of the many portfolio pieces that she would accumulate over her time here, and she was determined to make it a strong “first episode;” seeing as how not only was the Pitch Fair coming up, but her professor also recently found an in with David E. Kelley and was teasing an opportunity at an internship. 

She was putting an inhumane amount of pressure on herself to write this, and make it beautiful. Unfortunately, it was hard for her to focus when she had two other roommates with raging social lives and coffee shops were only distracting towards her creative flow. 

That was how she found herself -- running off of three coffees and three Bangs (and a seventh concoction that was part-coffee, part-Bang, that she never wants to think about again), four hours of sleep, and pure adrenaline -- staying way past her time in the private studying room in the library. 

An insistent knock on her door is what tipped her off. 

“Hello?” There was an exasperated, deep voice on the other side of the door. “You almost done in there? Your time’s up!”

The flow of her creative juices was suddenly interrupted, and when she looked, panicked, at her computer clock, her terror was confirmed. “Shit.”

The first thing she does is rush to unlock the door, and open it up to let the other party in. She doesn’t even stop to look at them before whirling around back to her computer and bag to pack up her garbage and other belongings; wanting to rush out of there as soon as possible. 

“I am so sorry,” she gushes, still unaware of who was actually in the room with her. “I just had this big script to write and I am seriously out of it because I have been consuming dangerous amounts of caffeine on no sleep, so I am so sorry if you lose study time because of me-”

Zipping up her bag and slinging it clumsily over her shoulder, Julie allows herself to meet the eyes of the stranger whose education she has just hindered -- and is met with the sight of warm green. 

The stranger (the extraordinarily attractive stranger who is wearing a sleeveless shirt that shows off unfairly toned biceps), is smiling down at her with what she could only describe as concerned amusement. He doesn’t even have any kind of backpack with him, she notices; just a leather-bound journal in one hand, and a jean-chain being jingled in his other hand. 

“Actually,” he chuckles a little. God, Julie would kill to not look like the walking dead right now. The universe has decided to be so, completely unfair to her in every way. This guy is probably terrified of her. “It sounds like you need this place more than I do. You stay.”

But he doesn’t make any actual move to leave -- he just lingers on her, on her face. 

Probably on the dark circles shading under her eyes, and the oil that’s probably dotting her nose and chin. He probably thinks she’s disgusting -- but he’s doing a hell of a job hiding it. If she were an idiot, she would think he was looking at her in awe. 

The two of them just stand on each side of the desk, eyeing each other in an inexplicable way. 

(It feels magnetic. But Julie thinks she’s also just tired.)

“No, really, take the room. I am so sorry I stayed into your time.”

The hot stranger (God, why?) bites his lip with a smile, and shakes his head. “No, I mean- It’s probably more beneficial if you stay. I wasn’t going to study.”

“... Then what was your plan?”

He wiggles his hand from side to side, gesturing to the journal grasped between his fingers. Julie tries to focus her eyes on the book instead of his arms, but wow, his arms. 

“Some writing of my own. I’m in a band, and I write all of our songs.”

Wow. Another writer. And he’s in a band -- and Julie looks like a fool. 

What did she do in her past life that deserved this?

“Oh, that’s really cool,” she tries to tell him, and she really means it, but she’s also kind of miserable in her current situation so it comes out a little less than enthusiastic. 

Hot Stranger takes notice. “Wow, yeah, you sound super interested.”

Julie literally buries her head in her hands, and rubs them over her face a couple times for good measure. Maybe this is a dream, and she’ll wake up with the sweet memory of caring green eyes and floppy brown hair on a guy that is too perfect for her to exist in real life. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated at my current situation.”

“Understandably so. Lots of caffeine, no sleep, and high expectations for yourself can do that to a person.”

“And add a cute writer guy on top of that, while I feel like shit, is a recipe for disaster.”

Yes, she just said that out loud. 

Does she even care at this point? Not really. She’ll wake up from her caffeine crash tomorrow morning and probably manage to convince herself that it was all a dream.

But right now, unfortunately, she is still in reality. “You think I’m cute?”

Writer Guy bounces on the balls of his feet, like a physical response to the compliment. She can’t help but find it endearing -- if also a little bit like a little kid who just got told that he was going to get ice cream. Her heart kicks in her chest, because she should seriously just leave before anything else dumb comes out of her mouth. 

But he’s so cute, and he’s grinning at her as if they’ve been friends for years. And the thought of leaving is unsavory. 

“That sounds like my cue to leave,” Julie responds instead, tightly gripping the strap of her bag. “Thank you for the sympathy, it was nice to meet you, and good luck with your band thing. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Wait!” 

He doesn’t have to tell her twice. In fact, it’s probably pathetic how quickly she comes to a stop and spins around to meet his eyes once again. 

“Really, you should stay. This room is big enough for the both of us. And if you’re writing a script, that means you’re in John Wells, and that’s-” He scratches the back of his neck. “That’s big. It’s really cool. If you don’t mind me scribbling in my songbook, then I would really like it if you would stay.”

Julie is so floored by his request, and the way he looks surprisingly nervous while making it, that she completely forgets to actually respond. He continues to fill the silent space with anxious talking.

“I- I’m Luke, by the way.” His hand is suddenly in front of her, and he is only about two feet away from her instead of eight feet, and he almost takes her breath away up close. 

She has enough brain cells in her to take it. Do the calluses on his hand almost make her audibly gasp? Yes. But the important thing is that she doesn’t. 

“I’m Julie,” she finds herself saying to him -- Luke -- with a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Luke doesn’t drop her hand. She doesn’t pull it away. “It’s nice to meet you too, Julie.”

God, Julie must be about to fall asleep standing up at any moment, because she obscenely feels like she has never heard her name sound so beautiful. It carries new meaning coming out of a literal stranger’s mouth, and it’s just like that that she realizes she should probably take her hand out of his so that it doesn’t get clammy and he isn’t immediately disgusted. 

“So… You wanna stay? We can write together?”

She’s going to need another coffee for this, but yes -- she really, really wants to stay.

And so she does. 

[quismetarc]

                   𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  &  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇  𝐎𝐅  𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒  𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐘

James  Kennedy,  is  Love’s  late  husband.  Married  on  July  27th,  2016  and  passed  soon  after.  There  is  a  running  theory  that  Love  herself  had  killed  James.  This  headcanon  will  build  off  various  forms  of  that  theory  and  what  I  incorporate  into  my  portrayal  of  Love.   So  that’s  to  say  that  not  all  of  this  is  entirely  original  or  unheard  of,  unfortunately  I  don't  have  the  links  anymore  but  it  is  easily  searchable  !  This  headcanon  is  subject  to  change  with  any  new  information  in  season  three. 

The  biggest  giveaway  to  something  unnatural  being  done  to  James  comes  from  the  line  that  Love  says  when  explaining  the  situation  to  Joe:  doctors  couldn’t  figure  out  what  it  was.  While  medical  mysteries  are  most  definitely  real,  to  think  that  the  Quinn  family,  with  all  their  resources,  weren’t  able  to  pull  together  doctors  to  figure  it  out  seems  a  little  strange.  Instead,  it  sounds  like  the  doctors  themselves  were  paid  off  or  bought  to  not  reveal  what  the  real  cause  of  death  was.

The  death  itself  is  accidental.  This  part  is  completely  based  off  another  Redditor’s  post,  so  credits  to  them  for  catching  this  tidbit  about  James’  mysterious  detox.  To  recap,  we  see  Love  and  James  talk  about  children  and  not  being  able  to  afford  children  in  episode  six.  The  scene  comes  to  a  close  with  James  saying  he  doesn’t  feel  well  and  Love  is  quick  to  respond  with  “you’re  just  detoxing.”  Fast  forward  to  the  next  scene  where  James  comes  to  Love  to  tell  her  that  he’s  sick.  She  repeatedly  denies  it  and  looks  incredibly  grief  struck  but  her  expression  can  also  be  read  as  oddly  guilty.  It’s  easy  to  think  that  his  detox  is  related  to  substance  abuse,  or  some  LA  juice  cleanse,  but  an  online  poster  had  mentioned  how  maybe  Love  had  made  him  detox.  We  know  that  Love  is  impulsive,  and  we  see  her  say  it  herself  in  the  season  3  trailer.  We  also  know  that  Love  is  entirely  consumed  by  the  notion  of  having  and  starting  a  family.  So  when  James  is  so  hesitant  to  have  children,  almost  immovable,  Love  poisons  him.  

This  isn’t  entirely  out  of  character  for  Love.  We  see  Joe  hesitate  with  biting  into  the  muffins  she  brings  him  in  the  last  episode.  It  takes  Love  eating  one  and  reminding  him  that  she  didn’t  poison  it  for  him  to  follow.  We  also  see  the  subtle  ways  in  which  Love  trades  salt  instead  of  sugar  in  what  she  baked  Joe  when  she  was  upset  with  him  about  lying  to  her.  So,  it  is  theorized  that  James’  detox  comes  from  Love  regretting  her  actions  and  convincing  him  to  go  on  a  detox  that  cleanses  his  body.  

To  add  to  that  theory,  we  know  that  Love  kills  to  protect  someone.  This  poisoning  would  be  outside  of  her  moral  standards.  That’s  why  I  believe  she  regretted  it.  Love  Quinn  isn’t  one  to  show  much  remorse,  but  holds  herself  to  a  very  high,  personal,  moral  pedestal.  This  checks  off  none  of  her  boxes,  so  she  tries  to  re-do  it  and  fails.  To  note,  in  the  episode  where  she  finds  out  he’s  sick,  Love  keeps  saying  “you  can’t,  you  can’t,  you  can’t  be  sick.”  Because  according  to  her  calculations  –  he  can’t.  She  really  did  try  to  make  it  better.

Lastly,  there’s  some  foreshadowing  of  this  seen  in  Joe's  first  monologue  at  the  start  of  the  show.  I  looked  into  this  and  drew  my  parallels  due  to  a  comment  online  about  it,  so  a  kiss  to  the  big  brains  out  there.  

We  already  know  all  the  parallels  to  her  name  are  endless.  The  foreshadowing  with  The  Dark  Face  of  Love,  him  rambling  about  love  before  meeting  Love,  etc.  If  you  read  the  entire  opening  monologue  substituting  “love”  for  “Love”  it  takes  on  an  entirely  different  meaning.  In  particular,  when  Joe  says  “love  turned  to  poison”.  While  this  is  in  reference  to  various  parts  of  their  dynamic,  it  could  imply  things  about  Love’s  past  as  well.  

I  think  she  got  away  with  it  with  two  routes.  One,  being  money  and  the  control  the  Quinn  family  has  in  the  city.  Second,  being  that  some  things  are  so  unlikely  in  the  medical  community  that  they’re  often  considered  as  the  absolute,  very  last,  option.  Or  not  considered  at  all,  maybe  they  just  didn’t  look  into  foul  play.  And  once  again,  Love  ran  free.

In  conclusion,  she’s  fucking  wack  your  honour.

[babygurlkamya]

Can’t Get You Get Out Of My Head Part 5

Warning: Slight Cussing, More love of Harry Styles.

Word count:2451

Here’s my Masterlist!!

A/N: Also this will in included so gifs in here. Also thank you for the love and support!!

——————𖠄———————

Julie and Anastasia walked down the steps of Julie’s house laughing. Anastasia and Julie were busy studying for hours and both were hungry so they decided to take a break. Julie had turned the corner but immediately let out a small shriek after seeing the slight of Luke staring into Julie’s fridge.  

“We’re never gonna get used to that.” Said Julie. Anastasia nodded her head agreeing with Julie. 

“Do you guys even eat?” Asked Julie.

Luke shook his head. “I just wanna see what’cha got.”

“Not gonna lie, you like a lost puppy staring at the food.” Said Anastasia. Luke looked at her for a second smiling before looking back at the food in the fridge.

Julie grabbed the jelly and shut the fridge door passing right through Luke’s body.

“Hey!” Luke protested. “You know how long it took me to open that?”

“I would say twenty-five years,” Anastasia said looking at Luke. Julie chuckled. 

“Sorry, I don’t believe in wasting power,” Julie told Luke. Anastasia moved to the right side of Julie and sat on the counter.

“Good, because that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” Luke revealed, walked over to the girls standing in between Julie and Anastasia.

“Her power usage?” Anastasia questioned.

“No. The power that she has.” Julie gave him a confused look, so he continued. “Your voice. Your piano playing. Dude, you’re like a human wrecking ball. I’m pretty sure you too.” Luke said pointing at Asia. “If we heard you sing again and not dancing around your kitchen. It would be amazing.” 

Julie looked at Luke and Asia. “What’s he talking about?”

“He caught me singing and dancing to Harry Styles in my kitchen, like a creep.” Anastasia glared at Luke.

“You have amazing taste, Asia. Harry Styles is one gorgeous man.”

Anastasia looked up shaking her head. “He truly is but back to what Luke was saying.”

“What’s that supposed to be some kind of pep talk or?” Asked Julie making Anastasia’s sandwich.

“What I’m saying is that you have to power to move people. To knock them off their feet. And there is no way your teachers wouldn’t let you back into school if they heard you play like that.”

“Well, we asked her and she said Julie has to wait until next semester.” 

“That was your first mistake,”  Luke scoffed in disgust. “Asking.”

“You do know that asking is the polite thing to do, right? Or did you not have manners back in your day?” Anastasia said.

Luke rolled his eyes at Anastasia's comment as he sat on top of the counter across from Anastasia. “That’s not what I mean, Asia. Sunset Curve booked gigs by doing. We went into ambush mode. We played in front of clubs, we played in back of clubs, we even played book club.”

“Book club? You have to be joking with me.” Said Anastasia grabbing her sandwich and then taking a bite out of it.

Luke smirked at her. “Yeah. We didn’t get many gigs out of that one but they did have pretty gnarly snacks.”

“Can we go back on topic?” Julie asked.

Luke looked at Julie. “I’m just saying, don’t ask for permission.” He kicked his legs in a circle as they went through Anastasia. “Swing that wrecking ball of talent at your teacher’s head and smash those stupid rules right outta their brains.”

“I’m always down for violence but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Anastasia commented.

“And this is a school, not a club.”

“It’s a closed door and you gotta bust it open.” Julie had walked over to the cabinet to get a glass and Luke popped his head through the door. He followed her over to the fridge as Julie grabbed the orange juice out of her fridge. “Sorry. Once I start with the metaphors, I can’t stop. I learned that in book club.”

“They’re not just gonna let me back in,” Julie said pausing for a moment as she walked straight through Luke. 

“If getting back into music is what you want, then you gotta go for it. Learn from me. Your tainted hot dog could be right around the corner.”

Julie lowered her peanut butter and jelly sandwich from her mouth just as she was about to take a bite. “I don’t even have anything prepared.”

“Thought you’d say that.” Luke pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket. “It’s called “Bright.” It’s a Sunset Curve song I wrote that we never got to record, but it’s perfect for your and Anastasia ranges.”

“Wait, did you figure out my range when I was singing in Harry Styles in my kitchen?” Anastasia asked.

“Yes and No. When you were bringing groceries I may have looked on your computer and found your old singing videos.”

“If I could punch you I would.” Anastasia glared at Luke. 

Luke sent a wink back at her. “Unfortunately you can’t sweetheart.” Anastasia felt her heart skip a beat after Luke called her sweetheart. “ Check out the chorus for a second. If you add a little bit of piano, I’m telling you… And rise through the night, you and I, we will fight to shine together.” 

Julie picked up the page and flipped it over as Anastasia hopped off the counter. They read more of the lyrics as they joined into Luke’s singing. “And rise through the night, you and I, we will fight to shine together.”

“Go up high,” Luke instructed.

All three of them raised their voice an octave a little higher. “Bright forever.”

“Yes!” Luke chuckled.

“We could do try this tomorrow, Asia.”

“Julie, I would love to but I’m performing with Carrie tomorrow.”

“Please, Anastasia” Julie pleaded, giving her puppy eyes.

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do.” Asia gave Julie a slight smile before looking at Luke. “Thanks, Luke. We really appreciate it.”

Luke tugged his bottom lip in between his teeth and giving her a cut smile in return. Which causes Anastasia to slightly blush. She quickly looked down back at the paper and read the lyrics.

——————𖠄———————

Anastasia was standing next to the girls of Dirty Candy waiting for them to be announced. Their music teacher announced the group as they walked to the middle of the auditorium. They got into their positions. The song had started and all the girls started to dance. On the side of her eyes she could she Julie and Flynn walk into the auditorium. Flynn didn’t seem pleased at Anastasia she was dancing but Asia had ignored her. Julie had given her a slight smile and she had smiled back as Carrie started to sing. After she had done her spin she had noticed that the boys had poofed next to Julie. 

“We wanna see you stick it to the man,” said Luke clearly being loud as he can since only Julie and Asia could him. “Isn’t that right, boys?”

“Man, I miss high school,” Reggie said causing the boys to look towards the performance.

“Wait, is that Anastasia?” Asked Alex. 

“Yes, that’s her,” said Julie.

“Made moves, On the rise now, Run stuff, get a piece of that pie now, We're the best, no doubt, Check it out, yeah, we make em say "wow", All the girls started to dance on the floor., Come follow me, we goin' make history, Cause we are the champions like Freddy Mercury, Yeah, we gonna rock you, never gonna not too, Always making headlines, yeah, we're the hot news”

Anastasia and Kayla helped Carrie get off the floor. Anastasia noticed Reggie and Luke were just staring at her so she decides to shoot them a wink.

“Made moves, On the rise now, Run stuff, get a piece of that pie now, We're the best, no doubt, Check it out, yeah, we make em say "wow", Wow... wow!, Wow... wow!, Wow... wow!”

Alex was copying the girls dancing and accidentally bumped into Luke, making him snap out of his trance and signal to Alex to stop.

“Wow..., Check it out, yeah, we make em say "wow"

The whole school cheered for Dirty Candy. “Thank You,” Carrie said. A girl screamed, “We love you, Carrie!” 

“Oh, I love you too!” Carrie said waving back at them. “Make sure to check out my new Youtube video and Oh, go Bobcats.” The crowd cheered for the girls as they walked off. Anastasia quickly ran over to Julie, Flynn, and the boys.

“Reggie, can you close your mouth, please?” Asia said quietly.

Reggie closed his mouth. “Oh.. Oh.. Yeah. Sorry,” Reggie said awkwardly.

“Nice moves, Alex.”

“You saw that... I-”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain it.” Asia smiled at Alex.

“I hoped you enjoyed yourself,” said Flynn glaring at Asia.

Anastasia rolled her eyes and turned to Julie. “You good?” Julie nodded.

The Principal along with Ms. Harrison walked into the spotlight. “Thank you, Dirty Candy.”

“Now’s your chance, go talk to her.” Flynn smiled at Julie. “I’ll see you in music class!” Flynn 

walked off to find a seat.

“That was sweet!” Principal Lessa joked. She gave a few more announcements.

“What are you waiting for this is your time?” Reggie asked, pointing to the stage.

“Yeah. I mean, you look really nervous. Like yack in a bowl nervous.” Alex said giving her a look of concern. 

Julie frowned “I just don’t think we’ve had enough time to work on the song.”

“Julie, I wouldn’t have you two the song if I didn’t think you weren’t gonna rock it! Now there’s a piano on that stage with your name on it.”

“Julie, you got this,” said Anastasia gave Julie a big smile.

“Are you coming up with me?”

“About that....” Anastasia trails off pulling Julie aside away for the boys. “Julie, you know better than anyone. I can’t go up there looking like this and on top of that this is your moment. I don’t want to risk that for you. I know you can do this without me. If you get scared just look at me.”

Julie sighed. “I guess, Asia.” Julie walked off and went up to the stage. She slowly sat down at the piano with a microphone. Asia walked back over to the boys as the crowd began to leave the auditorium. Julie played a chord on the piano before stopping. She looked back up at Asia and the three boys next to her.

“You got this,” Luke encouraged.

Julie continued to play the intro of Bright on the piano, quickly a spotlight suddenly shined over her as Julie began to sing. “Sometimes I think I'm falling down, I wanna cry, I'm calling out, For one more try to feel alive”

“And when I feel lost and alone, I know that I can make it home, Fight through the dark and find the spark” The crowd had stopped walking out as they heard Julie sing. Asia, Reggie, and Alex looked at Luke as he was singing the lyrics along with Julie. “Life is a risk, but I will take it, Close my eyes and jump, Together, I think that we can make it, C'mon let's run”

Suddenly, the boys with their instruments and Anastasia appeared on the stage. Julie looked at the boys and then at Anastasia as she wasn’t in her dirty candy outfit. Anastasia was in black ripped jeans and a white top.  Anastasia's eyes widened as she looked at her clothes and the guys. Julie motioned for Asia to sing with her. Anastasia pulled the mic up to her mouth and began to sing with Julie.

“And rise through the night, you and I”

We will fight to shine together, bright forever”

Julie got up from the piano bench and moved over to Anastasia who was in the middle of the stage while the students gathered around on the floor. The girls looked over to the boys as they were shocked about the situation.

“And rise through the night, you and I, We will fight to shine together, bright forever”

Anastasia locked eyes with Luke. He was completely shocked that the crowd could see him. She slightly smiled and walked over to him.

“They can see us,” Luke breathed out. “Ana, They can see us.”

Anastasia bit her lip. “A little crazy right.” Luke smiled at her comment before rushing up to his microphone to sing his part. “In times that I doubted myself, I felt like I needed somе help, Stuck in my head with nothing left.”

Julie danced with Reggie and Anastasia dancing towards Alex as they were both smiling at each other with pure excitement.

“I feel somеthing around me now, So unclear, lifting me out, I found the ground I'm marching on”

Reggie walked over to Luke and shared a mic with him as they sang the pre-chorus together.

“Life is a risk, but we will take it., Close my eyes and jump, Together, I think that we can make it, C'mon let's run”

Anastasia quickly ran over to Julie. As both of them sang the chorus along with Luke. “And rise through the night, you and I, We will fight to shine together, bright forever, And rise through the night, you and I, We will fight to shine together, bright forever”

“In times that I doubted myself” Luke sang. Anastasia walked over to Luke and held the microphone up to his face, with a smile on her face as they walked back to the middle of the stage. “I felt like I needed some help, Stuck in my head with nothing left”

“And when I feel lost and alone, I know that I can make it home, Fight through the dark” Anastasia pointed the microphone back towards her as Luke played next to her.

She stopped singing to let Julie have her big moment. “And find the spark!” 

While Julie held the note Anastasia and the boys joined together for the chorus again while Alex sang to echoes. “And rise (rise) through the night (throught the night), you and I (you and I), We will fight to shine together (we will shine together) bright forever (bright forever), And rise (rise) through the night (throught the night), you and I (you and I), We will fight to shine together (we will shine together), bright forever.” 

Julie and Anastasia held the last note out together. When they finished the crowd began cheering. Anastasia, Julie, and the boys bowed. As they finished bowing the crowd gasped and the two girls turned around and noticed that the boys disappeared from the stage. Julie looked at her with a confused look on her face. They’re gonna have a lot of trouble trying to explain this.

——————𖠄———————

A/N:I hope you guys in enjoyed this part it did take my a while but im hoping that next part won’t take me so long to do.

@lovepizza-cake11​ @tuttigunner​ @oi-itsemily​ @spoiler-alert-im-not-straight​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @taehyungsrealgucciwife​ @sarahslaseman121600​ @thesweetestsinner​

[hologramband]

Never The 1

(gif crds cryinghimbos) 

Alive!Reggie x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: This is taking place after the boys cross over, I like the little theory where “crossing over” means just “crossing over” back to life or something, idk we gonna roll with it tho lol. 

The song I use in this is  “Never the 1” by ROSIE

The hallways were busy as you and Flynn walked side by side to your next class. This dreary Monday was almost over, just one class stood between you and hanging out with your friends. 

You knew how to sing, but you never thought you were any good, so you tended to keep to writing lyrics here and there, but mostly helping with Flynns sides of things when it came to advertising the bands events and other things, helping the band in a few different ways. 

“So, (Y/n), how have things been going with you and Dylan? Is he starting to be more okay with you spending more time with the band?” Flynn started a conversation while waiting for you to switch your books at your locker. 

Dylan was your boyfriend of seven months, things had been good between the two of you until you started wanting to spend more of your time with Julie and the boys the last month or so. You had an image issue before you met Dylan, never really being confident in yourself, you liked hiding in the background. Julie and Flynn had always included you in everything they did, but something just finally clicked with Dylan, he made you feel special. 

When the band took off you were ecstatic, growing close with each of the boys, especially Reggie, your personalities meshing really well, and Alex, him becoming like a brother to you.

You still made time for Dylan, hanging out with him when you weren’t helping the band, even invited him to practices when you went, but for some reason he wasn’t a fan of hanging out with your friends. 

“Eh, he’ll come around eventually. He can’t expect me not to have any friends other than him.” You shrugged your shoulders and closed the locker door, the two of you changing topics and continuing to class. 

When you get there a smile instantly grows on your face, this was your favorite class of the day since you shared it with both Flynn, Julie, and the boys. 

“(Y/n)! Hi! Are you coming to practice today?” Reggie smiled as you sat in your seat across from him. 

“Well duhh, wouldn't miss it.” You smiled back and looked around at the rest of the group, falling into a conversation with the rest of them. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, signaling you got a text from someone, looking down you saw it was Dylan. 

-Hey babe, something came up so I, won’t be able to go to Julies with you after school, sry :/-

You frown at the message, he hasn’t been to a single practice yet, “something” always coming up, but send a short reply saying it was okay before the teacher, Ms. Adamson walked in and started her lesson. 

“Alright class, for the next project I want to get your creative juices flowing,” She clasps her hands together and moved to the board, switching her powerpoint slide to the instructions to the new assignment, “by the end of the week I want you all to have an original piece prepared to present or preform for the class.” 

You felt your eyes widen and your body stiffen, the main reason you haven’t ever let anyone hear you sing was due to your crippling stage fright. 

You glance around and see the rest of your friends smiling and high fiving each other, seeing this as another opportunity to bring a light to the band. 

“Is this a group project?” Luke raised his hand and asked, only to be met with a smirk and a shake of the teachers head. 

“Unfortunately, Mr. Patterson, this is an individual project, consider it a time for everyone to showcase what talents they have and are keeping hidden,” Ms. Adamson laid her hand on your desk and sent a subtle wink your way. 

She had walked in on you one day in the music room while you were messing around with some new lyrics for the song the band was working on.

You sunk in your seat a bit more and looked to see the rest of your friends looking your way, slight confusion on their faces, meaning they also saw the wink your teacher had sent your way. 

The rest of the lesson was focused on the details of the project and her giving ideas on what could be done other than music, such as spoken word, a painting, etc. You spent the rest of class figuring out what you could do other than sing, but had a feeling Ms. Adamson would accept nothing else from you. 

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day and everyone stood from their chairs and collectively walked to their lockers, getting ready to walk to Julies for practice. 

You made your way to your own locker, smiling when you saw Dylan standing to the side of it. 

“Hey, Dyl.” You went to give him a kiss, but he moved his head so your lips landed on his cheek instead. 

“Sorry I can’t come today, I bombed a test in math so Mr. Douglas is making me stay after with a tutor for the next week to fix my grade.” He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes were darting from place to place. 

Deciding not to comment on his weird behavior, pushing it off as just embarrassment of failing the test. 

“No worries, you’ll make it to one eventually,” You smiled at him and saw the crew walking towards you, everyone always walked to Julies together after school. 

Dylan noticed your gaze shifting and stiffened at the sight of all of them. 

“Hey,” You placed a hand on his arm, confusion growing, “everything okay?” 

He simply shrugged your hand off. 

“Yeah, yeah, just gotta get to the library, see ya.” He left a chaste kiss on the top of your head as he rushed in the opposite direction of your friends. 

“What was all that about?” Alex commented as he swung an arm around your shoulders. 

You were still in shock that he ran off like that, but again blamed it on the bad grade, as dumb as it was. 

“Not sure,” you mumbled, quickly changing your attitude, “you guys ready to head out?”

With nods all around you all started the short walk to Julies. 

--

Practice went great, the band trying out new songs that Luke and Julie had written, you fixing a few of the lines so the song flowed a bti better. 

During one of the breaks, everyone decided to sit and talk about the upcoming project. 

“What are you guys gonna do? Not being able to play as a band?” You wiggled your eyebrows at the group and they all kinda shrugged. 

“Oh I know what i'm doing! “Home is Where My Horse Is” will finally get the recognition it deserves!” Reggie stretches his arms along the back of the couch that the two of you were sitting on, setting his feet on the table in front of him. 

Laughter erupted from everyone, already knowing that was what Reggie would do. 

“What about you,” Alex turned the attention to you, “Ms. Adamson sent a pretty pointed wink your way when explaining it was gonna be individual.” 

You felt your cheeks burn a bit and you shrugged your shoulders. 

“Eh, you know how she is, I’m sure I’ll come up with something.” You looked around and realized that your answer hadn’t satisfied the group. 

Your phone again buzzed with a text from your mom saying you needed to get home. 

“Oh, sorry guys, mom needs me for Dinner,” you stood quickly. 

“Ah, saved by ‘mom’,” Julie winked. 

You laughed as you gathered your things. 

“I’ll walk you!” Reggies exclaimed as he jumped to his feet, meeting you by the garage doors. 

This was a pretty normal experience for the two of you, Reggie and you always enjoying the walk together, being more open with just the two of you rather than the whole group. 

“Lets go, partner,” you winked at the reference to his growing love for country music. 

It wasn’t a terribly long walk, but after the sun went down it was always safer to have someone with you. 

Another thing that happens when the sun goes down is the reminder that you forgot a jacket, a slight chill running down your spine. You had hoped that you covered it up with a couch, but within seconds an extra layer of warmth was thrown across your shoulders. 

Reggie had taken his flannel from his waist and given it to you, you thanked him as you pushed your arms through the sleeves. 

“So, how are things with you and Dylan? You seemed upset earlier when we got to your locker.” Reggies glanced at you.

“Oh, you know, it’s fine, he’s just been a bit distant lately, i’m not sure what’s going on but i'm sure we’ll get through it.” You shrugged and looked at your shoes, suddenly finding them very interesting. 

“There’s something else, c’mon, (Y/n),” Reggie slightly bumped his shoulder into yours, causing you to look up at him, a slight smile from the action on your face, but falling instantly. 

“Um,” you look back at your shoes, “it’s really nothing, silly really.” You shrugged your shoulder again, stopping as you got to your driveway. 

The real reason you had been so shocked when Dylan walked away earlier was due to him not telling you he loved you, he had always said those three words before parting your side, no matter the circumstances, for the last four months of your relationship. When he didn’t say them this afternoon it took you by surprise. 

“Well, you know i’m always here right?” Reggie moved a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up in his direction. 

“No matter what it’s about, whether you need to rant, cry, or share something really cool, I’m always here to listen,” He smiles down at you, causing you to crinkle your nose and smile back, bringing him into a short hug. 

“Thanks, Reg. It really means a lot.” You pull away and walk the last few steps to your house, hesitating at the doorway, turning back as Reggie spoke again.  

“Have a good night, (Y/n),” Reggie smiled at your retreating figure, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“You too, see you tomorrow!” You waved and walked in the door to your house, pulling his flannel a little tighter once the door closed, then shaking the thoughts that were entering your head away. 

Reggie was just a friend, plus you had a boyfriend, Dylan might be distant right now, but he was still there…

--- 

The next few days had gone by quicker than you anticipated, it now being Thursday and you still didn’t have a plan for what you were going to do in class the next day. 

You had tried writing a few lyrics, but nothing felt right, you couldn’t find the right inspiration for what you wanted to do, you honestly didn’t even know what you wanted to do. At this point your game plan was to fake being sick so you wouldn’t have to stand up in front of the class, gasping like a goldfish out of water. 

You sat in your last class of the day, all your friends talking about what they were doing tomorrow, Alex had a drum solo with a few lyrics he had come up with, Luke singing one of his songs he was able to whip up within an hour, Julie doing the same, Flynn had made a really cool beat she was going to freestyle to, and Reggie had Home is Where My Horse Is. 

Ms. Adamson had given you the day to work and finalize your projects for tomorrow, and you were starting to feel overwhelmed. 

The bell rang and snapped you out of the anxious trance you had been in.

You walked to your locker and tried to figure out what you were going to do, you had under 24 hours to figure something out now. 

“Hey, (Y/n), you coming?” Reggie and the rest of the group were at your side, waiting to see if you were going to walk back with them. 

“Um, I think I’m gonna stay back today, I really need to focus and figure out what I’m going to do for tomorrow,” You ran a hand through your hair and let out a breath, “Plus I think Dylan is tutoring in the library so I might see if he can help or something, I haven't really much from him lately.” You lightly laughed at how sad that sounded, and shook your head, waving to the group as you walked towards the library.

“Let me know if you need anything!” Reggie called out and you sent a grateful smile his way. 

You didn’t see Dylan when you walked in, so you choose a secluded spot in the corner, trying to get some work done. 

After 30 minutes of staring at the blank paper, you give up, deciding to call it a sick day tomorrow and pray that something comes to you this weekend. 

As you pack up your things you scan the room again, curious if maybe Dylan had just come in without you noticing, but frown when you don’t see him. 

You start drafting a text to him that you were looking for him, but stopped when you heard a book fall from the shelves a few rows away, and a moan that sounds quite familiar. 

Slowly, you walked down the aisle paralleling where you heard the noises coming from, and froze by what you saw through a break in the books. 

Dylan was here after all, but he had his hands all over someone else, lips on someone who wasn’t you.  

A tear escaped from your eye as you turned away, deleting the text message you were going to send and starting a new one. 

-Hey, I was looking for you in the Library. I found you… I left the bracelet you got me on the table by your aisle. -

You removed the small charm bracelet the boy had given you after your three month anniversary and placed it on the table, hit send, and blocked his number. 

Tears were flowing freely now, as well as your thoughts.

Did he ever care? 

Was I just a joke to him? 

Did he ever love me? 

Why wasn’t I enough? 

You found yourself in the school's music room, taking a deep breath as you sat down, pulling out your song journal. 

Inadvertently, Dylan had given you just the inspiration you needed for your song. 

Your fingers flowed freely on the keys, finding the right melody for the emotions you were feeling. You played and wrote the notes down, some lyrics came now, but you were focused on the melody. 

The janitor eventually came around and told you that you had to leave, and you rushed home, not wanting to forget the lyrics you had in your head. 

You skipped dinner and ran straight to your room when you got home, the tears starting again as your phone flashed with a text, not due to the sender, but the picture on your lock screen. 

Angrily you opened your phone and deleted all the pictures of the boy you had loved, not wanting the reminder that you had trusted him flashing  in your face anymore. 

While deleting the pictures you ran across one of you and Reggie messing around in the garage, the next one of Flynn and Julie with their arms wrapped around you. 

You smiled and set your lock screen as the picture of the girls and you, your new background the picture of you and Reggie. 

Feeling a bit better, you went back to work on writing the lyrics that you had been thinking of. 

When you finally finished, you saw the clock flashing 4am at you. 

Having all your emotions finally written out on paper made you feel worlds better, and you found sleep easy after, but just too easy at that. 

When you woke up the next day you saw that you had already missed the first few classes of the day. 

Reggie, Julie, and Flynn had all called and left text messages asking where you were.

Cursing, you got up and dressed, throwing the first things on that you could find, one item happened to be Reggies flannel he had lent you the other day, giving you a sense of ease when you breathed in his cologne.  

When brushing your teeth you saw your reflection and gasped, no amount of makeup would cover up the red puffy eyes that blessed your face. 

With a sigh you splashed some cold water on them, helping a little, only being able to tell now if someone was really looking. 

Not having the time to focus on this you gathered your things and ran to school. 

You walked through the doors and took note of the time, and made your way to the lunch room where you found your friends at their usual spot. 

“Well, well, well, there she is,” Flynn called as she saw you approaching. 

You smiled at the girl and sat down, trying to keep your head down, hoping they wouldn’t take notice of your appearance, but to no avail. 

“Babe,” Julie turned your face towards her, “what happened to you?” 

Before you could answer you felt a hand on your shoulder, turning to see Dylan standing there, anxiously rocking back and forth on his feet. 

“Um, can we talk?” He scratches the back of his neck, looking from your friends to you. 

“There’s nothing to be said,” you whisper and turn away from him, but he just sat in the empty seat in front of you. 

“You haven’t been answering my texts, just let me explain, please.” He was getting stressed, you weren’t giving in like you typically did. 

“They won't go through, I blocked you,” you shrug, “and there's not much to explain, you lost me the second you decided to make out with Sara in the library, sure was a pity you got caught, wasn’t it?” You shot daggers with your eyes as you spoke, a slight gasp from Flynn came from your side. 

Dylan felt the hostility from the band and shifted in his seat, why he was still here was beyond you, but the bell quickly ended the conversation. 

You stood and tried to walk away, just for Dylan to catch your wrist and turn you towards him. Before he could get a single word out you felt yourself word vomiting.

“Why wasn’t I enough for you?” the question that had been ringing in your head since you caught him finally came out, a single tear running down your cheek.  

His mouth opened and closed a few times, and you just nodded and pulled your wrist away from him, only a few steps away before Reggie had you pulled into his arms in a tight hug, soon joined by Alex and Luke, then the girls. 

They pulled away and you wiped your tears, smiling at them. 

“C’mon, we gotta get to class.” You muttered, Reggie slinging his arm around your shoulders, not an abnormal thing, but it was just what you needed in this moment. 

Class was going by quickly, the rest of the band performing their pieces, Reggie just sitting down from singing HIWMHI.

“Alrighty, last, but certainly not least we have (Y/n),” She smiled at you and you stood, making your way to the piano in the corner, the band questioning this since they only thought you knew how to play the guitar, just wait until they hear you sing. 

You clear your throat and start on the keys, taking a breath and letting the music take over. 

“Met you in October

You talked sweet and a little slow.

And I thought, mmm 

I think I, mmm”

It was obvious to almost everyone in the room that this song was about Dylan, what most of the room wasn’t aware of was that this was a break up song. 

“Warm eyes and your hands cold

You sang soft like a sore throat

And I thought mmm

I think I mmm

Cause I know you're dangerous

I saw through your games and played them

And I hate myself for letting you in”

You look at Ms. Adamson before continuing to the chorus, he eyes already gleaming with pride that you chose to sing. You tried to send a mini apology for the curse word that was coming in the next part.

“Now I could write 10 songs 'bout 9 ways you fucked me over

Only took you 8 second to forget 7 months together

We were up till 6 in the morning

5 ways a week

You said 4ever then left before I counted to 3

Loved you a little 2 much but I was never

I was never the 1”

You took a deep breath and played the keys a bit before moving onto the next part of the song. 

“You mеt me on a Friday

I dressed up likе a first date

So you'd think, "mmm

I think I mmmm"

And I knew we loved when

You stayed past 2 am

And I thought mmm

Does he think mmm”

You looked up and opened your eyes, making eye contact with your friends, Julie and Flynn having small tears in their eyes, knowing this song was written with fresh heartbreak. 

The boys all had looks of shock written on their faces, this being the first time hearing you sing, and the emotion ripe in your voice just making it that much better. 

Reggie had a hint of a smile on his face, pride radiating from him watching you blossom in front of him.

“And I knew you were dangerous

I saw through your games and played them

And I hate myself for letting you in”

You closed your eyes and launched into the chorus again, really letting the emotion carry you through the rest of the song. 

“Now I could write 10 songs 'bout 9 ways you fucked me over

Only took you 8 seconds to forget 7 months together

We were up till 6 in the morning

5 ways a week

You said 4ever and left before I counted to 3

Loved you little 2 much but I was never

I was never the 1”

You took your hands from the keys and repeated the last line again, just your voice filling the crowded classroom. 

“Loved you a little 2 much, but I was never, I was never the 1”

You held out the final “1” and then stepped back from the piano, applause breaking from across the classroom. 

You shyly courtesy and quick step it back to your seat, your stage fright quickly returning. 

“I would like to thank you all for your participation today, and another thanks for being vulnerable with everyone in the room. Everyone was absolutely amazing, I'll have grades up by Monday, have a good weekend!” Ms. Adamson dismissed the class and all your friends' eyes turned to you. 

“WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL US YOU COULD SING?” Luke exclaimed with wide eyes and flailing hands. 

You giggled a bit and shrugged your shoulders.

“Girl, that was so good, did you write it all last night?” Julie shook her head in amazement. 

“Uh yeah, inspiration hit and I just wrote until it was finished.” You shrugged and wring your hands together, not wanting to focus on the moment that inspired it all. 

“Um, are we going to the garage to hang? I can go get my things,” You tried to change the subject by standing and starting towards your locker, Reggie hot on your heels. 

“(Y/n)! Wait up!” You stopped and waited for the boy to catch up, continuing as soon as he was by your side. 

“You really have a great voice,” Reggie gushed as he looked down at you. 

A blush crept on your face as you shook your head. 

Reggie leaned against the neighboring lockers to yours as you gathered your things, looking up at him when you saw his muscles tense. 

You then followed his gaze to see him looking at Dylan walking on the opposite side of the hall, arm slung around Sara, like he used to with you. 

You returned your gaze back to your locker, a new rush of emotions flowing through you. 

Reggie lightly rested a hand on your arm and pulled you into his chest much like he had a few hours prior. 

“He’s an idiot for letting you get away,” He mumbled in your hair. 

“No,” you pulled back slightly, “I’m the idiot who thought someone like him actually loved me.” You wiped a stray tear, Reggie then grabbing each of your hands in his own.

“Don’t you ever think like that, he was rude, careless and just plain stupid for not seeing what he had right in front of him.” 

You look up at the boy in front of you. 

“(Y/n), you are the most beautiful girl I know, inside and out. Your thoughtfulness for everyone around you is absolutely amazing, you care for so many people, you do so much, and don’t ask for anything in return. You are a whole package, and anyone who doesn’t see that is blind.” Reggie finished and wiped the tears that fell while he was talking. 

You leaned back into his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso, feeling grounded, safe,  in a way you never did with Dylan. 

“Thank you,” you muttered, leaning back and feeling butterflies in your stomach, “Um, Reggie, I don’t want to start anything right now, I need some time to figure me out-” you started, but were interrupted by Reggie shushing you. 

“Hey, don't stress about this, you take all the time you need, I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” He smiles down at you, you return it tenfold. 

“Hey! (Y/n)! What would you think about a feature on our next song?” Luke comes running up beside you and Reggie, ending the moment that was occurring. 

“Um, i’ll have to think about that a bit,” You smirked, Reggie grabbing your bag and placing it on his shoulders, wrapping an arm around you as the group walked out of the school. 

“By the way,” Reggie whispers in your ear, “I’m loving the way my flannel looks on you.” 

[cakers-2000]

Well here’s my entry for the Konoha Simps Discord server July event! I was so excited and happy that I was able to take part in this event with all kinds of other talented and amazing writers and artists. 

I hope you all enjoy, I put a lot of time and effort into this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count: 2.8k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You cringed as the wooden door to the library squeaked open, creating such a loud reverberating sound that the fellow students within turned to stare in your direction. You winced at the sudden attention and attempted to sneak your way into the farthest corner. With your books clutched tightly in your hands you weaved in between the many students studying and reading at the desks tables. A few sat on laptops, the only sound filling the room being the sound of their typing fingers. Unfortunately for you many of the desks and tables had already been taken by small groups of peers and students scramming to get their last minute projects done. You mentally cursed at yourself for waking up so late. You had told yourself that you would wake up at a reasonable time to get as much work done as possible but here you were in the middle of the afternoon, rushing to get multiple essays done by tomorrow morning at the latest.

You were screwed.

Your eyes landed on a table in the corner. It had room for at least five people but there was only one person sitting there. His hair was wrapped in a ponytail while his head lay on his arms on the table surface. With no other choice but the hard floor for seating you decided that it would have to do. You’d have to hope he wouldn’t mind being bothered.

Upon further inspection you found that the man was in fact sleeping. You slowly pulled out the chair across from him, trying not to make any noise that would wake him and pulled out your laptop and books, maneuvering your many materials around his body in an attempt to accommodate both of your needs.

You hadn’t noticed him slightly stir as your attention fell fully to the work in front of you.

“Do you mind moving your stuff?”

You slightly jumped at the sound of his voice. You peeked around your laptop to find the man was now sat up, cheek resting in the palm of his hand. He still looked extremely tired and he covered his mouth as he yawned.

“Sorry… There isn’t a whole lot of room.”

He raised an eyebrow at you and let out a small sigh. “Why don’t you just sit at a different table? I didn’t give you permission to sit here.”

“Wh-” You were taken aback. He really had the audacity to accuse you of taking his space? “I’m sorry but this is a library. We’re all here to get work done, not to sleep.”

You heard a slight growl sound escape his throat. You sat in silence for a long while, eyes glaring at each other as neither of you moved or made a sound.

And he let out a sigh and stood himself up. Your eyes followed his every movement out of pure curiosity. He knelt down to grab the bag at his side and he turned his back on you, slightly slouching as he left the library.

“Geesh what was his problem?”

You tried your hardest to put your full attention back to the work at hand. Your eyes drifted to the clock in the corner of the room.

Only a few more hours until your new class began, and here you were trying to cram for all of your other classes.

You shook your head, a small sigh escaping your lips as you stared vacantly at the laptop screen in front of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The door to the classroom had already been opened, indicating that people were already inside. You quickened your pace. You didn’t want to be the only one late to class but you had gotten lost on campus trying to find the correct wing of the school.

As you slightly pushed the door open you were met with a sea full of students. At first your heart sank. You couldn’t see a single seat for you to sit in, perhaps you had the wrong classroom.

The feeling of dread slowly washed away as your eyes scanned the room and you found one in the back.

And then your heart dropped when you spotted the seat beside it.

It was that man again. With the quickness you had before gone you slunk towards the chair. You pulled it out from under the table and it let out a loud squeak as it scraped on the hard floor. You cringed as one by one their eyes turned to look at you. And the man lifted his head to stare.

A snicker escaped his throat as he spoke to you. “I should’ve figured it was you.”

“U-Uh, hi.”

You were quick to sit down and dig through your bag, trying your hardest not to make eye contact with any of your fellow students. The silence between you two was deadly. You could cut the tension with a knife. Every second that passed by felt like hours.

You almost let out an audible sigh of relief when the teacher arrived and you were able to start class. For the most part you had completely forgotten about the man beside you. You were completely engrossed in writing your notes and listening to the lecture.

That is until you received the news of the class projects. Where you would be assigned a partner. The person sitting next to you. You and the man shared a quick glance with each other. Both of your eyes holding the same shocked look. This could not be happening.

Why you?

You were given time to discuss your projects and you turned to face the man, your disappointment evident in your features. You tried to wash it away and smile, holding your hand out to him for a handshake. “I don’t think I made a great first impression earlier. So, I’m (Y/N).”

He slouched backwards in his chair as he spoke to you. “Shikamaru.”

You quickly realized he, in fact, was not going to return your gesture and slowly slunk your hand down. “So Shikamaru, what are you thinking about for a topic? We get to choose any war throughout history so we have a lot of options to-”

“How about we just do something easy? Like… World War 2. Everyone knows what happened, or at least kind of knows what happened. It’s an easy A.”

“Well actually I kinda wanted to focus on a smaller war. Like… maybe the Chinese and Japanese war? It’s kind of interesting, Japan actually took over Korea to try and get closer to China and overtake that as well.”

He glanced over at you, an almost impressed look on his face before it quickly washed away and returned to its neutral state. “If that’s what you want to do then go for it. I really don’t care.”

“Uh, sure yeah let’s do that. Is there any place that you want to meet up and work on this or something? I don’t think I have any way of contacting you either so we’ll have to-”

You could see his eyes glance over at the clock above the classroom door and he raised his hand to cut you off. “Look, he’s gonna release us in a few minutes and I’ve got a ride I need to catch.” He grabbed your notebook from underneath your hands and took the pencil from between your fingertips and scrawled out a few numbers before sliding it back to you. “Just text me or something and we’ll figure out the details later.”

“Alright, I guess that’s fine.”

True to his word the professor dismissed you shortly after your exchange and you watched Shikamaru leave out of the room, not even bothering to give you or the professor so much as a glance.

As you packed your things you couldn’t help but sigh. You really hadn’t had the best luck today. Given Shikamaru’s attitude you had no clue if he was going to put in the effort for the project at all.

That was what concerned you most of all, but unfortunately only time would tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why did you wanna do this here?”

You glanced up at him, your eyes leaving the book in front of you to instead watch him slouch forward, head resting in his arms.

“Why not? It’s the perfect atmosphere. Quiet and relaxing like a library plus,” You grabbed for the rather large drink in front of you, taking a sip of the freshly made juice. “You can buy yourself something to eat or drink if you need it. It’s perfect.”

He didn’t seem satisfied with your response and instead slouched himself forward to stare at the notebook in front of him.

“What do you have so far?”

“Well I wrote down the five main points we want to focus on and our options for how we want to present it. “We could do a video, a presentation, some type of cardboard thing. We have lots to choose from.”

He waved a hand at you, dismissing all of the options you had just given him. “Let’s just do a presentation. It’s quick and easy.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, a slight pout on your features as you had wanted to do something more extravagant. “You seem to like taking the easy way out don’t you?”

He seemed rather offended at your question and chose not to answer you directly. Instead he stood up from his chair and started towards the exit. Before you could protest his sudden actions he held up his hand, seeming to tell you to keep quiet. “I’ll be right back.”

And with that he slipped out the door. You awaited his return, doing as much work as you could in the time being but as the time drew on and he hadn’t returned you had admittedly begun to worry.

With no option left and as much work as you could get done out of the way you left to find where the man had escaped off to.

Though you hadn’t expected to find him standing directly outside of the building. He was staring down at his phone, casually scrolling through, foot resting on the building. And a cigarette rested in his mouth. He took a drag on the cigarette, blowing out puffs of smoke and a small sigh.

“Shikamaru?”

He turned at the sound of your voice and was quick to finish off the cigarette and stomp it out with his foot. “Oh, hey, sorry I got a little distracted.”

“You’re a smoker?”

He did nothing but nod at you as he put his phone back in his pocket.

“That’s really not good for you, you know.”

“I know.”

“It could really fuck up your health in the long run, you should really quit.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“But are you even trying to quit?”

“No, I like it, I’m not stopping.”

“But you could die!”

“Okay.”

He didn’t seem to care about what you had to say. His eyes weren’t looking at you. He seemed to almost be looking through you. Why were you even trying? It had already been made obvious that he didn’t like you and you felt the same… maybe. You honestly weren’t sure how you felt about him yet.

“I’m heading out.”

“Wha- Hey! We’re not done yet!”

Honestly his attitude was starting to piss you off but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest. He strolled past you with his hands stuffed in his pockets as a small yawn escaped his lips. “I’m too tired for this.”

He did appear to be at least a little tired. “Fine, but we’re meeting here again tomorrow same time, got it?”

He waved his hand back at you, a monotone tone in his voice. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

In all honesty your hope for the project had fallen extremely low. Why did you have to get partnered with him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And we’re done!”

You leaned yourself backwards in your chair, a look of pride covering your features as you stared at the laptop resting in between the two of you. It was slowly sliding through your almost 20 slide presentation in beautiful transitions and colors. You hadn't been too thrilled to go with the whole ‘slideshow presentation’ idea at first but you were admittedly pretty happy with the results and Shikamaru had some wonderful ideas that really made the slides pop.

“It looks nice, good job.”

You smiled at the compliment and nodded happily. “You did good too, partner.”

You didn’t know what to expect when you had originally been partnered with Shikamaru. But honestly you were pretty happy with the end result. After your little chat a few weeks ago about your opinions on smoking you had seemed to grow closer. Perhaps it was because you valued each others opinions and ability to stand for those beliefs or purely because you were being forced to spend so much time together.

Either way you were beginning to enjoy his company and you hoped he felt the same.

“Oh right, I was supposed to talk to you about something today.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

His hands fell behind his head in a relaxed manner. His eyes were closed but he opened one so that he could see the expression you currently held on your face.

“You know about that fireworks festival thing happening next week?”

“Yeah! I’ve been looking forward to it for months.”

“So you’re going then?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, I don’t really want to go by myself.” You grabbed for the coffee sitting in front of him and took a sip humming happily at the taste. He only smiled as he heard your hums of approval, not seeming to care much about you drinking off of his own drink.

“Problem solved then.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

Was he going to ask what you thought? Your heart was racing faster as you awaited his response.

“I’m going, I need someone to come with me.”

“Is this like… a date?”

“No.” He was quick to shut you down, the smile on his face falling. “Just two friends hanging out.”

“Oh.” You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your voice but you quickly covered it up with a smile. “I’ll be there. Are we meeting here again?”

“You got it.”

The smile on your face only grew at the thought of the day to come. You were excited, you had grown accustomed to his presence and you didn’t want your time with him to end so abruptly.

The one thing you could be sure about was that time would be moving far slower than usual as you awaited the festival.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of children laughing and giggling all around you was the only thing you could hear. They scampered around your legs, chasing each other with toy swords and toy guns while their mothers tried their best to wrangle them in. You could hardly hear Shikamaru’s voice beside you, though you weren’t sure if that was because it was too noisy or he was barely speaking above a whisper.

“Let’s sit over there.”

“Huh?”

He didn’t repeat himself and instead grabbed for your hand. His fingers intertwined with your own and he pulled you to the right towards a small patch of grass seeming to be untouched by any crowds. A smile curled it’s way onto your lips at the sudden contact. His hand was warm, an almost inviting feeling engulfed you just at the mere touch.

You sat down on the grass. It tickled your skin and you laughed slightly at the feeling. You chatted until the fireworks started, taking the time to discuss each others interests and hobbies. Honestly you had a lot more in common with him then you thought. You weren’t sure but you kind of felt as if you were falling for him… but that couldn’t be right. You had hated him… hadn’t you?

You were interrupted mid thought as the fireworks erupted into the sky. You were entranced by the beautiful exploding colors. The loud booms shook your entire body. You could see Shikamaru out of the corner of your eye. He was staring at you, a warm smile on his features as he rested his cheek in his hand. You turned to face him, head slightly tilted in confusion but he only laughed.

“You know when we first met I hated you.”

“What!?”

You were shocked at his sudden truthfulness but it only made him laugh more. He moved himself closer to you and before you could ask him what he was doing his lips met yours for a sweet and soft kiss. You kissed him back, smiling into it.

You honestly hadn’t expected your relationship with him to go this far, especially after the rocky start you. As you sat on the ground, sharing a sweet yet passionate kiss while the fireworks erupted behind you you could say with confidence that you loved him and you were excited to see how much further your relationship would reach.

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, part 4 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

 July twelfth dawns like any other day, Annabeth wrapped up in Percy’s sheets. She’s spent significantly more nights in his bed than she’s spent in her own apartment over the last two months, but who could blame her? This bed is literally to die for. Therapeutic mattress for the fucking win.

 Percy, to her greatest confusion and chagrin, is a morning person. Well, actually, what he is is someone who runs on very little sleep for three weeks at a time, before crashing headfirst into his bed for thirteen hours. It is a decidedly unhealthy way to live, but it means that Annabeth is used to waking up alone. The nights where she gets to wake up with Percy are the nicer ones, sure, but his presence is suffused in every corner of the room, his smell wafting from every piece of sweaty clothing tossed haphazardly about the floor, so much so that she never feels like she is truly waking up alone.

 Gross? A little. But the smell is oddly sexy, too, especially after he’s just come home from a run, all wet and glistening and flushed, panting hard--

 Ahem.

 The point is, when Annabeth rolls out of bed in one of Percy’s shirts (the one that says “Do You Even Lift, Bro?” with an image of a male dancer raising his partner, courtesy of one Jason Grace) and stumbles into the kitchen for one of Percy’s patented brunch specials, it’s a pretty normal morning. What catches her off guard is the spread: eggs and bacon, obviously, with fruit and granola and yogurt, but also an enormous tray of delicious, flaky croissants, perfectly crescent shaped, with little bowls of every condiment imaginable, multiple flavors of jams and preserves and Nutellas.

 “Bounjour, mademoiselle!” Percy says cheerfully from the oven, perfectly accented, bending over to take out a tray. “Ça va bien?”

 “Um… bonjour…” She pokes a croissant experimentally, and is equally delighted and dismayed to find that it is just as flaky as advertised.

 “Take a seat, these ones just need to cool for a bit and then we can get started.”

 Spring in his step, he opens the refrigerator, taking out the most beautiful cake Annabeth has ever seen in her entire life. Perfectly round, paper white, with little blue borders piped around the edge, but it’s got Annabeth feeling like she’s just been doused in cold water. “How the hell did you know it was my birthday?”

 Immediately, she knows it was the exact wrong thing to say. His eyes go wide as the saucers on the table, mouth open in shock. “It’s your birthday?”

 Goddammit. “Um.”

 “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 Because birthdays were inherently a dumb concept? Because her father had to be reminded of her birthday more often than not? Because her mother had stopped sending her birthday cards after she turned thirteen, calling them a waste of money and resources? “I don’t know,” she shrugs, dipping her finger into the strawberry jam. “I guess I just didn’t think it was a big deal. Ooh, does this have rosemary in it?”

 “Annabeeeeth,” he whines, plopping the cake onto the kitchen island. “I can’t believe you! I love birthdays.”

 “Well,” she flounders, attempting to duck his sudden attention, “what were you originally celebrating? I don’t usually think of cake as a brunch option.”

 He raises an eyebrow, not at all impressed with her attempts to change the topic, but he answers dutifully, “Originally, we were celebrating me being one month cig-free--”

 “Percy!” Annabeth gasps, clapping her hands delightedly, and a little exaggeratedly. “That’s great!”

 “But,” he continues, “now we’re definitely celebrating your birthday instead.”

 “Oh, come on!”

 “Nuh uh,” he chides, grabbing his phone and beginning to type something, “I am asking Nico to pick you up a birthday card as we speak.”

 Oh. “Nico’s coming?”

 “Well, this is his apartment. Part of the deal is that I make him breakfast. I think he’s bringing his boyfriend.”

 “Is… anyone else coming?”

 “Just a couple of people, my friends Frank, Grover, Rachel… I invited Hazel and Thalia, too, but I think Hazel told me she was busy, and you know Thalia. If it’s not at a crappy dive bar then the odds of her showing up are virtually none.” Percy pauses in his text, fixing her with an odd look. “You really don’t want anyone to know, do you?”

 How easily he reads her is a little disconcerting, and also a thought that she just can’t handle right now. “I just don’t like people making a big deal out of it. You know, it’s just another day. I’d much rather celebrate you quitting.”

 He holds her gaze for a beat, before smiling, finishing typing out whatever he was doing on his phone. “Yes, I am officially quitting. Cigarettes are terrible for you, and I do not have the money to keep up the habit. So, I swear,” he holds up a hand, “No cigarettes, no weed, no vaping. Not that I ever vaped before.”

 “Oh, never?” Annabeth teases.

 “Not ever.” He leans in, grinning that devastating grin that is seriously detrimental to her health. “You could not pay me enough.”

 “Good.” She goes to meet him, pressing her mouth to his, sweetly and chastely, but swiftly turning deeper, almost against their higher brain functions, like they only exist to be here in this moment, lips against lips, tongue and tongue. She’s always hated the taste of cigarettes, she prefers edibles to blunts, and anyone who vapes is automatically dropped from her list of potential partners… but she’s never minded the taste of ash on Percy’s tongue. It was just another part of him, another facet of the whole sexy package.

 Now, though, she has the full taste of him, unfettered and unfiltered, his morning coffee and his morning breath. It is disgusting, but again, oddly thrilling. This is Percy, stripped down and divested of all the trappings of blue lipstick and tight pants. She wonders what he thinks when he sees her like this, messy haired, face and ears empty of metal, last night’s mascara smudged all around her eyes. Given the way that he deliberately threads her hair through his fingers, winding the frizzy curls around him, pulling her close enough that the pristine cake is in danger from some serious smushing, she thinks he likes it just as much.

 Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on which perspective, either Percy’s, Annabeth’s, Nico’s, or the cake’s, their little impromptu makeout session has cold water dumped on it before they can end up doing it on the kitchen island. The sound of someone unlocking the front door is almost comically loud, and they break apart, equally red and flushing.

 “Gross,” says Nico di Angelo. “No heterosexuality allowed in my kitchen.”

 “Take that back, you biphobic ass,” Percy says. “I have never been heterosexual in my life.”

 “I’m not biphobic, I just don’t want to see you getting it on on my marble countertops.”

 “Speak for yourself,” chimes in Will, setting down a grocery bag right on the spot which would have been ground zero. “Hi, Annabeth.”

 “Hey, Will.”

 “Nice of you to join us today,” he says, as though he doesn’t see her here all the time.

 She offers her assistance in cooking or setting up, knowing full well that she will be firmly rebuffed--domestics are not her strong suit, by any stretch of the imagination--and is sent away with an iced coffee that Will has so thoughtfully bought for her instead of the birthday card she was dreading.

 Soon after, the party is in full swing.

 Well, she uses the term party loosely. It is fairly intimate, even with Nico’s enormous apartment making everything smaller. They have assembled an odd amalgamation of people: “You already know Nico,” Percy says, indicating the goth prince next to, “and Will,” his boyfriend, the perpetually cheery med student, next to, “and this is Frank,” a large, physically imposing man with a shy smile, next to, “Rachel,” a red-headed girl who looked like she just walked out of a paint shower, all making space for, “and my buddy Grover,” the guy in crutches who had immediately dropped into the single, out-of-decor, but extremely comfortable-looking loveseat Nico had placed nearest to the bathroom. All told, they look like the brochure for a community college who really, really wants to publicize how diverse their student body is, but with a kind of natural chemistry and camaraderie that those kids on that brochure could only dream of. “Everyone, this is Annabeth.”

 They greet her, each giving a limp wave.

 Then Percy leaves to attend to his brunch spread, but not before giving her a quick peck on the cheek. She can feel all eyes on them, hot and burning.

 Silence.

 “So,” Annabeth says, as awkward as a freshman in an orientation mixer. “What’s up?”

 “Your hair is amazing,” says Rachel.

 Hers is crusted with paint, a deep red that turns pink against the orange in the light, a close cousin to Annabeth’s, which is in dire need of a touchup, curls thrown in disarray by Percy’s grasping fingers. “Thanks, I--”

 “So how do you two know each other?”

 Annabeth blinks. “Friend of Thalia’s,” she says. “You?”

 “Used to do ballet together,” Rachel says, brusque, efficient. “Frank, too.”

 Frank waves again.

 A beat passes.

 Annabeth looks to Grover, who watches, bemused. “You, too, I take it?”

 Another second. Then he laughs, weird, but hearty, a joyful bleat. “Oh, sure,” he says. “I’m a regular Baryshnikov.”

 She can almost feel the room relaxing, heaving a sigh after holding its breath.

 “Are you with NYCB, too?” she turns to Frank, shoving her hands in her pockets, fingers curling around the fabric there.

 Shaking his head, he swallows his orange juice. “I mostly do modern and hip hop, now, music videos and stuff.”

 Objectively, she knows that you don’t have to be skinny as a rake or bodybuilding champion to dance, but Frank is neither of these, a huge, sweet-faced guy with a healthy layer of fat around his face and torso--a strict counterpart to Percy, who could give the Belvedere Apollo a run for its money. “Have I seen you in anything?” Not that she really watches music videos, but she figures it’s the polite thing to ask.

 “Um, maybe,” he shrugs, embarrassed. “I’ve been lucky enough to work with some really big people.” Though he offers no further details.

 “Working on anything cool?” She asks, doing her best not to cajole.

 He nods. “Percy and I have a thing coming out probably in the next month or so, with--ah, well. Can’t say.”

 “Tease,” Rachel grumbles, tossing back her mimosa. “I’ve been trying to get the secret out of him for months.”

 Frank smiles, secretive and a little smug. “Sorry. You’ll find out along with everyone else.”

 “Do you work together a lot?” Annabeth asks. She had thought that Percy was strictly ballet--though, she supposes dancers do crossover work more often these days, if only for the money.

 “Not as much as we used to, sadly,” he replies. “We actually lived together in Paris for a few years while he was contracted with the opera before I decided to come back home. Vancouver,” he adds at her unspoken question.

 “Bit of a hike, from Vancouver to New York,” says Grover.

 Frank shrugs. “I was in town anyway, and I haven’t seen Percy in about a year.”

 Annabeth frowns, doing some mental math. If Frank hadn’t seen him in two years, then that meant… that Percy had been alone in Paris all that time. The man thrives off of friendship and social interaction; no wonder he was jonesing to come back to America.

 “Remind me again how long you two were together?” Rachel asks, red hair bouncing as she cocks her head. A jolt goes down Annabeth’s spine, appraising Frank in an entirely new light.

 “On and off for about two years,” says Frank, thoughtful. “But I just lived with him to save money. The rent in Paris sucks.”

 “And you were the best roommate I ever had,” Percy says, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Clean, good cook, better kisser--”

 Frank shoves him away.

 “You’ve only ever had one other roommate, other than Nico or your mom,” Grover points out. “That one guy when you first moved overseas--Frodo? Fedora?”

 “Fyodor,” Percy corrects. “He was terrible. I didn’t know any Russian, he didn’t know any English, and our French wasn’t good enough to actually hash it out, so he just gave me a permanent cold shoulder.”

 “Kind of a low bar, don’t you think?”

 “And there was my roommate in Boston.”

 Sharply, she turns her head. “You lived in Boston?”

 “Yeah, for like a year. I told you I was with Boston Ballet for a little bit, didn’t I?”

 Pretty sure he didn’t. She almost opens her mouth to retort, to ask when and compare notes, to mention that she lived in Boston, too, before remembering who she is with, swallowing her words.

 “Fyodor hated you,” Frank hums, reentering the circle. He’d wandered away and returned with a croissant, dipped in chocolate.

 “Trust, me, the feeling was mutual.”

 “It must have been,” Frank says, “because I saw your new apartment after he kicked you out--that place made a shoebox look luxurious.”

 Something in Percy’s face almost falls when Frank says that. Annabeth is sure there is a story there.

 But Rachel laughs. “Annabeth, you have no idea. It was a      Chambre de bonne    ,” she says, exaggerating the accent, “which might sound super fancy and French and cool, but trust me, it wasn’t at all. It was this size.” She slaps the kitchen island, a little too hard, her third mimosa making her loose-limbed and loud. “When I visited for Thanksgiving that year      I     had to pay for the heating bill, because Percy basically refused.”

 “It was cozy,” Percy mutters, suddenly very preoccupied with the half a croissant on his plate.

 “It was not.” Rachel says. “It was sad and cold and small.”

 Nico looks interested, but not nearly as boisterous as Rachel or Frank, “Was that the place…”

 “Ye,” Percy cuts him off, “Yes it was.” He smiles, Stepford-strained. “But, then Frank came to town, and so did his grandmother’s money.” He slaps Frank on the back. “And I got a bathtub.”

 “I still can’t believe that a ballet dancer lived anywhere for two years without a place to soak,” Frank says, shuddering.

 “I can’t believe you waited until Frank got to Paris to get yourself a sugar daddy,” Grover quips. Percy throws a grape at him. Grover, to her immense surprise, manages to catch it in his mouth.

 Annabeth can’t really be impressed. This is the second time someone has brought up Percy and Frank having a history. Something hot and angry curls in her stomach. But Percy is laughing.

 Rachel laughs too. “Oh, he didn’t wait,” she says. “He had a bevy of sugar mommies for trips to Ibiza and Moscow and Beijing.”

 “It was Tokyo,” Percy says, “and they weren’t my Sugar Mamas.” He turns to Annabeth, sheepish, but not actually shameful. “They weren’t. Honestly.”

 “Uh huh.”

 “They were mostly Kym’s friends, and sometimes we’d go out when they were in town, and if we had fun, they’d invite me wherever they were going next. And if I didn’t have to work, I’d go with.”

 “I have heard rumors,” Will says, popping his head in, Nico attached to his hip, “of Percy Jackson, boy toy of the rich and famous of Europe. Is it true?”

 “Yes,” Grover and Rachel say at once.

 “Do you want to hear about that, Will?” Percy asks, “Or would you rather hear about the summer Nico came to stay with me and Frank before he started college, and slept with every single dancer in Europe except Frank?”

 Nico waves him off. “Only because you were already sleeping with him, cause he was your sugar daddy. Not like I needed the money.”

 “It wasn’t like that.” Frank says.

 “And now that we’ve aired all of my dirty laundry,” says Percy, “I need to borrow Annabeth for a second.” Gently, but with force, he tugs her arm, his other hand around her waist, directing her where to go like she’s one of his dance partners. Usually, she minds--a lot. She’s not about to let anyone, let alone a man, tell her where to go--but, you know, it’s Percy. Alone time with him is never a bad thing.

 He pulls her into the hallway, shoving his hand into his pocket. “What’s up?” she asks.

 “So.” Mouth open, he pauses for a moment, just… looking at her. His eyes are soft, warm like the first day of spring.

 “What?”

 “Uh, nothing,” he shakes himself a little, pulling his hand out. “Sorry, I just--I know you said you didn’t want anyone making a big deal out of your birthday…”

 Oh, no. She braces herself for the worst.

 Uncurling his fingers, he reveals his present for her.

 “It’s… a pin?”

 “Yeah,” he smiles. “Remember when I took my sister to the Met a few weeks ago? They were having that thing on Egyptian jewelry? Well, of course we had to stop in the gift shop, and I saw this and just--you know, thought of you.”

 It is a pin--one of those lapel pins that more often than not are added to a collection usually displayed on a backpack. This pin is a silhouette she recognizes instantly: the Parthenon, its columns and angles rendered in sterling silver, little grooves dug into the metal in an approximation of the fluting.

 “Wow,” she breathes. “Thank you.”

 “It was nothing.” His ears are pink. “Happy birthday.”

 And then he hugs her.

 After a moment, she hugs him back.

 It’s amazing how she can have had sex with someone so many times, but feel so awkward giving them a hug.

 “I didn’t, um, tell anyone else,” he says, pulling back. His hands linger on her shoulders, thumb tapping at the base of her neck. “But, I kept meaning to give this to you, so, you know, now was as good a time as any, yeah?”

 “I love it,” she says, honestly. Which surprises her. “Thank you.”

 She slips it into her own pocket, not even minding the sharp corners.

 When they return, Nico has already cut into the cake. “You were taking too long,” he snips.

 It really is delicious. Much, much later, Percy sends her home with a sweet, soft kiss, and one of the last remaining slices, rather than staying for dinner.

 Percy is the kind of boy who goes to his mother’s for dinner every week. She had been invited, but also threatened with the promise of another cake, and his ten year old sister, who would “love to make you a present.”

 It sounded nice, but Annabeth knew when she wasn’t really wanted, and so she demurred, citing a need for some solo downtime.

 She hasn’t heard from Thalia in, like, four days, which meant she had probably gotten a short-term gig. (“You’re lucky, she’s had Jason paying for her phone the whole time you’ve known her. Before that, she was almost impossible to get ahold of.”) Piper would take her out to dinner tomorrow, “just because.” But they would both know it wasn’t true.

 So, to refresh and relax after a long, harrowing day of socializing, Annabeth goes home.

 Or at least to her apartment.

 It doesn’t have a doorman, or the views, or the room, like Nico’s place. Nor does it have any of the people, the energy, the joy. Her furniture doesn’t fill it up. The most appetizing thing in her kitchen are the granola bars Percy had made the week before, or maybe the brownies he made four days ago. She sets her to-go bag of cake and croissants down next to them, a smorgasboard of Percy’s culinary prowess.

 Despite the long hours, her clothes still smell a little like last night’s bar, and her skin has a faint patina of dried sex sweat, and smudged makeup.

 She doesn’t want to start leaving things at Percy’s place--don’t want him to get the wrong idea--but she also occasionally needs to be able to touch up her eyeliner. She’s either going to have to find a bag that isn’t embarrassing to carry, or surreptitiously shove some eyeliner and lipstick next to the condoms in Percy’s nightstand next time they have a sleepover. Or raid Nico’s bathroom.

 Regardless, she needs a wash something bad.

 As she scrubs down, she does her best to focus on the lemon scent of her body wash, and not Percy’s perfect form, dripping with water. She tries to visualize her last trip to Sephora, not blowing him under the hot water.

 It doesn’t really work, so she gets herself clean and gets herself off and considers just spending the rest of the day naked, in case the mood strikes her again. But it's only 5PM, and she doesn’t have Percy to cook her some dinner tonight, so she sucks it up and puts on some pants.

 When she had visited Boston for work a couple of months back, Alex had insisted on taking her shopping, complaining that her sister and her friend Mallory didn’t understand Versace quite like Annabeth did, and that Blitz sucked all the fun out of fashion, anyway. Then, she had bullied Annabeth into buying a set of sweats, claiming it was because of the Grecian patterns, but probably because she thought Annabeth in that much purple would be funny.

 But eventually, she had wheedled, cajoled, and threatened Annabeth into buying a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. After deciding to forgo a bra, because that is just one more area she has always fallen short in, she shoves on a School of Architecture underneath them. The crimson clashes terribly with the lavender and seafoam, but she kind of likes it. Piper would call it “artfully nauseating,” or something.

 Besides, no one is going to see her but her delivery guy. And if someone did see her, someone like Thalia or Percy, well, the clashing colors would be the least of her worries.

 She is folded into her couch, wedged into the corner, very much      not     looking up Paris Ballet clips from the past few years, trying to spot Percy in the background, when there is a knock on her door.

 Not for the first time, she curses her lack of doorman--and then frowns. Who even knows where she lives?

 Piper and Leo? Magnus and Alex?

 Has she already ordered food and just forgotten?

 Is memory loss a side effect of a SK-II mask no one had warned her about?

 Tentatively, she creeps towards the door, opening it slowly. If this were a horror movie, the door would creak open, revealing the villain cast in the shadows of the hallway, holding his weapon of choice.

 She sighs.

 The man is only a few inches taller than her, and dressed impeccably in a t-shirt and jeans that probably cost half a year of her rent-- a big critique coming from her, since she wears a month of her own rent as sweats. His blond hair is impeccably combed, his tennis shoes impeccably white, and his smile the most charming thing you can find this side of the Brooklyn Bridge.

 “Happy birthday, girly,” he says, giving her an awkward, one-armed hug, trying to avoid getting any of her facemask on his shirt.

 “What are you doing here?”

 “It's your birthday,” he reminds her, holding up the bag. “I told you I’d stop by last week.”

 Had he? Maybe, and she’d just been too drunk or hung over to really process it. But maybe he’d also meant to, and then failed to follow through. Luke has a bit of a nasty habit of treating his intentions as the same as his actions. His intentions are good, usually, but it means that he often ignored the actual actions. Like how his intention was to support his mother in the best nursing home in the northeast, but his action was to work with Saturn, a very shady hedge fund, to facilitate it. Or how his intention was to have someone at a stuffy party to talk to, but his action was dressing up Annabeth as his arm candy because none of Piper’s models would call him back anymore. He hasn’t asked her to do that since, like, February though, thankfully.

 “Sorry,” Annabeth says. “I just… you know I don’t like my birthday.”

 He also has a bit of a habit of ignoring her distaste in a really blatant way.

 He’s a little like Percy that way, actually.

 She’d only ever told Luke about her birthday back in those embarrassing freshman days, when she’d thought he looked as good on paper as any Harvard MBA student possibly could, with a devastating smile to match. She’d been so convinced that he would be the right boyfriend that might finally get her mother’s approval, and she figured that her future husband should know her birthday.

 “Come in,” she says, reaching for the bag, but he shakes his head and brushes past her, dumping his black back on the coffee table. Graciously, he doesn’t look at her as he starts to empty out its contents, giving her an opportunity to dart back to her bathroom and peel off her facemask. Luke would forgive designer sweats, but they aren't at the “just chilling in a facemask” level of a relationship.

 When she returns, there is a small assembly line arranged on her coffee table: a stack of paper plates, a carton of Haagen Daas, forks and spoons, and a Milk Bar cake, all wrapped in its box.

 “Is Milk Bar still the ‘it’ thing?” she asks. “With locations all over the country, I figured it would be passé by now.”

 “I know it’s your favorite,” Luke says. “I don’t always have to choose the most popular thing.”

 Milk Bar had been her favorite, that is true, right up until she’d started fucking Percy Jackson, and eating his food.

 “Thanks,” she says, cutting herself a slice, and scooping herself some ice cream.

 “That’s all you’re going to get?” he asks, cutting himself a sliver.

 “I have had so much cake today,” she says. Milk Bar really isn’t as good as Percy's, but it reminds her of birthdays in high school, waiting for her mother to visit, sneaking out when she inevitably didn’t, convincing the local bad boy to buy her some alcohol. She eats it, eagerly.

 Luke’s jaw drops. “You had a birthday cake? By choice? On your birthday?”

 She shakes her head, swallowing. “No, I was at a party with some friends. They didn’t even know it was my birthday,” Until she had stupidly revealed it. Whatever. She just has to make sure he’s been excised from her life by this time next year. And maybe freeze some of his baked goods beforehand.

 Luke doesn’t let her go through with her evening plans, which consisted basically of watching      Legally Blonde     for the gazillionth time while she slurped down some pierogies, but he capitulates to      Roman Holiday    , helping her put away the leftover cake and ice cream. “Thanks,” she says, when the movie was done. “I’m glad you came over. “

 No one ever comes over. Thalia is her best friend, but Thalia would have questions about how she could afford the place, Piper never understood why she’d moved out here at all, and Percy… Percy was irrelevant. There is no reason for him to come here.

 “I always like to see my best girl.” He smiles at her, charming and rogueish.

 “If all those models you keep trying to date know that your best girl is an architect who lives in Brooklyn who you actually feed, that’s probably why they don’t want to date you back.”

 Luke laughs, leaning over and knocking his shoulder against her own. “None of those girls could hold a candle to you.”

 “God, you must be a terrible boyfriend.”

 “Probably,” he agrees, sitting up and stretching, before reaching back to the bag he brought the cake in. “After all, you are the one I bring all the nice presents. But I think I’m a pretty good friend.”

 He takes out a box, burnt orange, a black ribbon wrapped around it, because Luke is nothing if not predictable.

 Annabeth sighs internally, quietly reminding herself that money is how Luke shows his love. And that she is wearing Versace sweats.

 “Herm  é  s,” she says, pulling off the ribbon. “This box looks too small for a Birkin.”

 “Do you want a Birkin?” he asks. “I can get you a Birkin.”

 “I probably don’t need a Birkin,” she admits. Though maybe it would be nice to have one in her closet, if her mom ever calls her up for lunch again. She could show up with a Birkin and an eyebrow ring. Sweet revenge.

 Luke waves a hand. “It doesn't matter if you need one, just if you want one.”

 Inside the box is a scarf, the silk soft and smooth between her fingers, a pleasing gradient of oranges and reds and pinks and corals. When she unfolds it, laying it out before her, she finds a sharp, geometric design, columns stacked together like skyscrapers. Luke obviously had her in mind when he picked it out.

 “Thanks,” she says. It’s pretty--perfect for an ambitious young architect with two degrees from Harvard who had moved to New York City with an offer from one of the best architecture firms in the world. And Annabeth has no idea where she could possibly want or need to wear it.

 “Hey,” Luke says, suddenly soft, “don’t cry.”

 Shocked, she reaches her hand up to her face. It’s wet.

 Luke is probably the only person she will let herself cry in front of. She’d spent three years doing that in college. He’d seen her through heartbreak and hangovers, guiding her through it all like an aloof big brother.

 “I’m okay,” she hiccups, wiping her nose.

 He hands her a napkin.

 Annabeth blows her nose, wet and gross. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m alright.”

 “You sure?” He sounds sincere, but she catches him glancing down at his wrist.

 “Do you have a date?”

 “I…” At least he has the decency to look sheepish. “Just some guys at work. You can come, if you want.”

 It could be fun. Hanging out with Luke can be fun. Get a little lit, take a business bro home, screw his brains out, send him on his way. But there’s an unspoken dress code to these things, and Annabeth just doesn’t wear Louboutins anymore. And the idea of fucking a business bro just… doesn’t hold any appeal right now.

 “No thanks,” she nods, using the clean edge of the napkin to wipe her eyes. “I am going to watch      The Search For Elle Woods    , and you're going to strike out with some models, and everyone is going to be happy.”

 “You really are so mean to me.” Luke complains, as she walks him to the door, before giving her another hug. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

 “I am.” She is different and new, but Luke is still her friend. She had survived. It would be okay.

 “Well, call me if you need something.” He kisses her cheek, sweetly, without any heat. Perfectly platonic. “I love you very much. Happy birthday.”

 “Thanks,” she says, “I’ll see you around.”

 “Always.” And he is gone.

 She folds the scarf, going to put it in the dresser in her room, shoving it among a handful of accessories, gathering dust. She realizes, with a start, that she’s left a week’s worth of clothes all over her room on the way to the shower, and, with a sigh of adulthood, and the knowledge that if she doesn’t follow the ADHD gods and pick them up now, they’ll be there for weeks, languishing on her floor and stinking up the place, she goes to at least move them into her hamper. She rifles through ripped jeans and band t-shirts and black socks as she goes, checking each for anything like discarded change or a bus pass she doesn’t want to wash.

 She shakes out the pants she’d worn out the night before, and therefore the entire day until she’d gotten home. There is a rather unfortunate stain on the knee that she can’t quite parse--ketchup? Chocolate?

 Then she reaches into the pockets, touching metal, and she suddenly remembers her other birthday present for the day.

 Pulling out the pin, she feels strange, hot in the face, funny in the belly, tossing the jeans haphazardly in with the dirty laundry. It's small and shiny, cheap metal for mass market production, and yet, she walks it over to the dresser, laying it down on the silk scarf like it's the diamond broach her aunt gave her for her sixteenth birthday.

 She really is beyond Hermès scarves now. But that pin? Well, you never really can get more Annabeth--the middle school know-it-all, teenage debutante, college perfectionist, New York yuppy, or barfly and punk princess--than one of the greatest architectural achievements in human history.

 She is still a little shocked by how much she loves it. How much it means to her that Percy saw that it was perfect for her.

 And like so many times when she is confronted with an emotion she doesn’t like, she slams the door closed, and goes and watches a favorite movie from high school.

 She does order dinner, eventually, setting out her meal in between texting Piper about brunch tomorrow. It's a whole thing, pretending that they’re not going out for her birthday, but eventually they agree on a time and a place, and she can eat her sausage and watch everyone practice the Bend and Snap in peace.  

 So she is very annoyed when her phone buzzes again.

 Maybe the reservation fell through. Or maybe she doesn’t want Annabeth to show up in ripped fishnets, even though that only happened once.

 Her stomach sinks when she checks her phone. It isn’t Piper.

Hello Dear, Happy Birthday. We miss you. Please call anytime. Love Dad, Mary, and the boys.  

 Below the text is a link, leading to a gift certificate for $200 to Sephora, which has Mary’s name written all over it. Aunt Natalie would have suggested Bergdorf Goodman.

 Her hand clenches, momentarily overcome with the urge to hurl her phone against the wall. But there is no one around, so there wouldn’t be any point to it.

 She stabs at a pierogi with a chopstick, and watches the girls dance on screen, humming along.

 She passes out on the couch after midnight.

 Her mother never called.

[auroracalisto]

haikyuu—how you meet

in honor of haikyuu’s final chapter being released today, july 20th, 2020, i’ve decided to start a preference thing for them.  i can add/do more as i go along, but i love these characters and i wanted to do something for them!  

hinata shoyo

oh my god when i say that it was a freak chance meeting this ray of sunshine, i am not kidding.  at all.

you literally met him when you were in the girl’s restroom.  nope, you didn’t read that wrong.  yes, you heard me right.  the girl’s restroom.  

why?  because poor hinata wasn’t paying a lick of attention 

his anxiety was high that day—of course, it was at a practice game.  he didn’t even know that the girls were practicing that day.  

and of course, he ran into the wrong damn bathroom, with you pulling your hair back into a pony tail.

“what the hell—“

“oh my god, i am sorry!” 

he would bow like super quick cause this nervous kid wouldn’t know if you were an upperclassman or not.  

“boys bathroom is literally the next door down—“

“kinda figured, i am so sorry—”

“calm down,” you would smile at him.  “hope your game goes well...”

“hinata!” he quickly said.  “my name is hinata.”

“hope your game goes well, hinata,” you smiled, giving him your name soon after.  

he just kinda,,, stood there for a second before he bowed again and ran off to the boys restroom.  

good times.

kuroo tetsuro

okay so let’s just imagine that you love chips.  any kind of chip.  so like.  that would totally make sense if you were in the chip aisle of the convenience store near your house, right?  totally.

and this really cute black haired guy was with this cute pudding head guy because let’s be honest, they’re both cuties.  

BUT ANYWAY—

this black haired guy had come down the same aisle that you were in and he was looking at the chips too while his friend was looking at the magazines in the next aisle

he kinda noticed that your basket was filled with four chip bags and you were still looking for another one

and of course, he couldn’t help himself

“you must be in a serious relation-chip,” he snickered.  

you kinda just,,, stared at him for a minute before you smiled.  

“that was original.”

“you think?”  

his smile was literally breathtaking.  but his laugh was something else and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh as well.  

“right,” you grabbed your fifth bag of chips, bowing your head to him.  

you didn’t exchange names or anything, just that shitty pun he gave you about puns before you paid for your chips and left the convenience store.  

oikawa tooru

wowza are you in for a treat

not really

actually

depends on how you look at it

anyway—

oikawa actually met you in school

you both had the same homeroom, therefore literally most of the same classes (right?  yes, we’re gonna say yes).

he honestly thought you were really cute

so whenever everyone had to group up, he asked you to be in his group.  you didn’t say no.  you knew he did his work, so it wouldn’t hurt to be in a group with capable people.  

and of course, you knew his name.  who didn’t in this godforsaken school?

yeah that’s pretty much it

he also spilt a juice box on you because he got super nervous so that’s great

tsukishima kei

you were yamaguchi’s cousin.  how great, right?

it really was.  yamaguchi’s family was all really good to you. 

one day, they were having a barbecue for some reason.  but they invited you and a couple of yamaguchi’s friends.  

you had never actually met tsukishima, but yamaguchi had talked tons about the guy.  

when you saw him for the first time?  god, that was the life.  seriously.  you thought he was so cute.  

but he kinda just looked at you, said “hi,” and went off to find yamaguchi.  

good times.  sarcastically, this time.  

sugawara koshi

oh my gosh suga is such a cutie and you cannot convince me otherwise

so your meeting is obviously the cutest, right?  right.

it had literally just started a downpour as soon as you got into your favorite cafe.  

you ordered your favorite drink and took one of the only open seats left.  

it was a little table with two chairs, but you really couldn’t sit anywhere else.

this grey haired teen had ran into the cafe, soaked with rain.  his jacket seemed to be completely soaked through.  

but unfortunately for him, there were no open tables.

luckily for you, you had a seat at your table.  

awkward throat clearing ensues

“excuse me, this seat is open—“

he looked at you with a really cheerful expression that just made your day 10x better

“are you serious?”

you giggled and nodded and he happily took the seat in front of you while he looked outside at the rain.  

“thank you so much,” he said as he looked at you.  “i’m sugawara.  you didn’t have to offer me this seat.”

was that a blush?  on this cute guys face?  yes, it was.

you could only smile and return your name to the man.  

sugawara ended up ordering a drink for himself

the rain literally lasted in a downpour for an hour

but in that hour, you never ran out of something to talk about

you ended up leaving the cafe with sugawara’s contact in your phone and your contact in his phone with plans to meet up at a ramen shop that weekend

ukai keishin

“that’ll kill you, ya know?”

ukai nearly fell out of his fucking seat 

he literally didn’t see you before you spoke up.  you had placed a magazine, a drink, and an instant ramen bowl in front of him, waiting to pay for it.  

ukai rose an eyebrow.  

“that’ll kill you, ya know?”

wow.  smoker-boy did not just do that.

you couldn’t help but crack a soft smile.  

“fair enough.  getting my paycheck tomorrow, kinda can’t help it.”

ukai didn’t really say anything but he rang up your items and let you pay for it.  he then looked at you and rose an eyebrow.  

“come back tomorrow, yeah?  i’ll show you one that’ll really kill you.”

you snorted.  

“really?”

“you’ve ever tried to spicy ramen near the back?  with the red covering?”

you pursed your lips but shook your head.  

he gave you a smile.

this was a grown man but for a moment, he was acting like a child.  but it was flattering.  was he trying to flirt with you?

“alright,” you actually said.  “i’ll see you tomorrow, then,�� you took your bag, smiling at him.  

his smile only grew as he watched you leave the store.  

he low-key hoped that you would actually show up tomorrow, now.  

[jasminebutintaiwansojiemin]

July 15th, 2024 星期一 - Chiang Kai Shek Memorial, Presidential building, Shilin Night Market, The Grand Hotel, etc.

I went to bed very early yesterday, so I woke up around 4am. I have a lot going back at uni so I had to do A LOT of administrative stuff whilst half asleep since it was afternoon over there. After doing that for a few hours, I got up and went to breakfast around 7am. I’ve been trying to limit my portions lately, so thankfully I didn’t eat too much.

After breakfast, I went to the 15th floor where I did a zoom meeting for one of my dances and then started recording a series of videos for one of my clubs. I successfully did 2/4, but then on the third video, this lady walked in with her kids and interrupted me so i just ended it there. Then I returned to my room and laid in the bed before going to find a bookstore with my roommate. After what felt like a million years trying to find this bookstore with the most obscure location ever, we finally found it. Unfortunately they didn’t have what she was looking for so we went to go find a ramen restaurant instead.

Once we got to the restaurant, it wasn’t open yet for another ten minutes. We just decided to go look for the curry place nearby because my roommate is vegetarian. We never did find it but we did find an Indian restaurant where surprisingly the owner didn’t speak any Mandarin. The prices were pretty high so we just returned back to the ramen restaurant. I was originally going to order takeout, but we decided to eat in because they had vegetarian options. The food was pretty good, probably a 7/10 (I used to work at a ramen restaurant). They were playing Gee by Girls Generation when we walked in which I thought was funny because it’s a Japanese restaurant in Taipei lol. Although the place was pretty small, it was packed with people. My roommate thought the waiter was cute so I complimented him on his tattoo (which made him roll sleeve up for the rest of the time we were there to show it off), but when she hit on him later he was not with it unfortunately (she thinks he may have been into me instead since I was talking to him but alas).

After lunch (which we left our water bottles at in a hurry to scurry after the speed flirting), we scurried back to the hotel (not before stopping at the WRONG bank trying to pull out money) where I showered quickly before our classroom time. After doing homework during the self-study classroom time, we all met up and headed out to visit Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, alongside the Grand Hotel (we took a shuttle bus thank god), and the Presidental hall. It was so hot and humid that i was dripping sweat down my legs (i also forgot my umbrella because I hate myself). It was cool getting so see such ornamented places and I always love seeing the Chinese style gates.

We ended at the Shilin Night Market, where I ate a Korean corn dog and drank some Cranberry juice before doing some shopping with some classmates. I bought a few pieces of clothes, adding to the various items I bought at the many gift shops I’d seen that day. I was also able to get a glass blown bok choy charm because on of my classmates was able to haggle the old lady working the counter really well (bless him). When I returned home, I again knocked out around 9pm (I really need to stop doing that) and woke up at 4am.

Academic Reflection

Today’s reading talked about China Kai-shek’s personality cult that was used to legitimize his rule not only in Taiwan, but in Mainland China as well. I thought it was interesting when the reading compared him to Stalin because after visiting the museum, I see how the comparisons could be drawn. I think it’s good that the museum had the section talking about all the ways in which Chiang Kai-shek was NOT a perfect leader and how his rule effectively oppressed many people. I also thought it was interesting when the text talked about how China Kai-shek consciously used Confucian values to gain respect, and then later switched to painting himself as the subservient loyal student of Sun Yat-sen.

Something else that piqued my interest was when the reading talked about the different non-governmental organizations that worked faithfully to promote Chiang Kai-shek’s personality as being the embodiment of Chinese culture and virtue. The Officer’s Moral Endeavor Association, for example, though having a purpose not related to the government, turned into a full fledged Chiang Kai-shek fan club. Through this article I also learned the full name of the YMCA. This reminds me of how in the U.S., there are certain non-government related organizations that absolutely lick the boots of certain political figures when it comes to election seasons. Off the top of my head, I can remember that the NRA (National Rifle Association) is an organization that is very involved in politics, and in the past few years the promotion of certain political candidates/figures in comically positive ways.

[sleekervae]

Young God [0.1]

Masterlist

July 2011

Her alarm didn't wake her up, but the carnivorous notions of the oncoming day did. Taylor's first show was today. Her first show in America, to be precise. The very idea that she had touched down and was in California in the first place was enough to send goosebumps rippling down her arms and her palms break out into sweats. And Taylor used the phrase 'carnivorous' in the sense that if she didn't put on a good show, she'd be eaten alive by the crowds and never be able to break out across the pond.

Steadily now, Taylor threw the blanket off her head and ran her fingers through the knots and tangles in her blue hair. Behind her was the soft down pillow, and she frowned when she saw the faint stains of black makeup in the linen. Oh, fuck me, she thought to herself. She wiped the crusties from her eyes, and as her vision came into focus she found various liquor bottles scattered across the coffee table. In a bedroom? Oh, that's right; she slept in the living room, on the pullout sofa to be specific. That was why her head was pounding... and why her clothes smelled like the inside of a dirty pub.

Taylor stood on shaky legs, frowning when she saw she was only dressed in an oversized sleep shirt and her panties. Fuck, where were her clothes, now? Taylor held her head as she wandered through the flat, cursing to herself when she suddenly stubbed her toe on the corner of the base boards.

"Oh! -- Motherfuck..."

In the kitchen she found a few more glasses randomly distributed across the countertop, some empty, others smudged with various shades of lipsticks and dirty finger prints. Taylor picked up one, in the glass a liquid that consisted of a ruby red pigment. She didn't care much for what it was, she'd brush her teeth later on. Taylor knocked back the leftover drink, vodka burning down her throat while the sour tinge of the cranberry juice it was mixed with made her lips pucker. Afterwards she went to the sink and filled the glass with cold water, then downed that as well in a single gulp.

Her weary legs took Taylor to the bathroom. The door was closed, and Taylor grumbled when she found it was locked. Inside, she could hear the echo of the shower beating against cold tile. Fucking shame, she needed to take a piss and she smelled like a mini fridge after New Years.

"I fuckin' -- good Lord, Worsnop," she raised her fist and knocked briskly against the door, knowing fully well what a whore Danny was when it came to his showers, "Danny! Hurry up! I need a whizz!" she called through her banging.

"Wait two minutes, Tay!" his usual soft, Yorkshire accent was gravely and gruff. Taylor then pictured Danny as some sort of hybrid singing werewolf because of it.

"No! Either get out or I swear to God -- I'll squat over your ferns!" she shouted. At that, the beating of water quickly ceased, and Taylor stood back with a sly smirk on her face as she heard the bathroom door unlock. It opened and out came a sopping wet Danny with water dribbling down his beard and a towel wrapped firmly around his waist. He shivered as he stepped aside for Taylor, chuckling to himself.

"You're a right prick when you're hungover, Taylor," he said, "The Geordies would be so ashamed of ya!"

"Oh yeah," Taylor sighed, "Look how broken up I am about the fucking Geordies. And clean up that mess out there; you want the people to think we're slobs?" and with that, she slammed the door in his face. Immediately, she was engulfed in the pleasant scent of men's shampoo.

Danny knocked on the door then, "Oi! Why do I gotta' clean it up? You helped make the mess!" he called.

"Yeah! But it's your flat!" Taylor called back, "And I'm your guest,"

"They don't say flats here, Tay," Danny chuckled. Taylor rolled her eyes as she heard his footsteps swish away.

"Whatever," locking the door behind her, Taylor turned to face the mirror and examined the ugly reflection of frizzy blue hair, dark circles and blackened eyelids -- a true indication that she was indeed hungover and on the cusp of a breakdown.

Well she was young, ripe at twenty years of age, and either of those fit well.

She pulled a gag face and tended to her business with the toilet. Afterwards, she ran the cold water from the alabaster sink and proceeded to splash cold water onto her face several times over, scrubbing at her skin with a wash cloth to get rid of the old makeup. Unfortunately, her taste in makeup was good quality, because all the makeup did was slide and stick to her skin.

I don't have the patience today...

Taylor squirted a bare-minimum amount of toothpaste onto her toothbrush and popped it into her mouth, shuddering when she heard a knocking at the door.

"How long ya' gonna' be?" Danny asked, "Not that I'm trying to rush you," Again, Taylor rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, to which Danny took as an invitation to enter. He couldn't help but laugh when he saw the makeup streaked over Taylor's face.

"Not funny, you wanker," she spit through the blue foam.

"I'm not laughing at you, Taylor; I'm only laughing with you," he replied simply.

"I heard that bullshit before," she spat out the fluff and started again, "What time do we gotta' be at the park?"

Danny reached past her face, opening the medicine cabinet to grab his razor and shaving cream, "Somewhere around ten-ish," he replied, "We got some time to kick around, grab a coffee. How ya' feeling?"

"Like I crawled out of a garbage can," she said.

Danny chuckled again, "Besides the hangover, love,"

Taylor spat out the rest of her toothpaste and wiped her mouth with her wrist, turning to Danny with sunken eyes, "Honestly -- I wanna' go home,"

He squirted a bare amount of shaving lotion into his hand and proceeded to smear over and around his soggy beard, "No. Why?" Danny asked.

"Because," Taylor replied, "I ain't gonna' fit in, Dan. I know I won't,"

Danny scoffed back as he switched on his razor, "Taylor, none of us fit in. That's why we go to Warped Tour -- for the weirdos," he said, "And you're the perfect weird addition to our fucked up little family,"

Taylor glowered back at him, "That was a backhanded-compliment, Dan," she stated.

"I'm sorry, Tay. But I can't be as charming when I'm hungover," he said. Taylor threw down her toothbrush and brushed passed Danny, charging into the flat to look for her bag. It wasn't in the living room and it wasn't in the bedroom, where the fuck did he put it?

"It's not just the tour, though," she said, "It's America," she threw her hands up as though to make a dramatic point.

Danny shuffled along in his large bath towel, a quarter shaven and visually following her manic movements as she scoured through his flat, "While I admit it may not be the greatest country in the world, it ain't fucking bad," he said, "They're age restrictions are a little whack,"

"You're telling me. Can't drink until you're twenty-one, fucking bollocks," Taylor huffed as she tried not to trip over the remaining bottles on the floor, "I'm just a little worked up over performing to an American crowd. I don't know how they're gonna' react to me, is all," she said.

"Babe, come on," Danny awed at her, "You was a smash in England, you'll be a right smash in America, too,"

"You're just saying that 'cause I'm your friend and you feel obligated to make me feel better," she replied, then suddenly growling out loud, "Where is my fucking stuff!?"

"In my bedroom," Danny replied oh-so-matter-of-factly. Taylor glowered at him.

"Why is it there?"

"I told you it was there, you said you'd unpack it later on,"

"That was before you got me drunk,"

"We was celebrating!" he cried, "You're big American debut!"

"American debut my skinny arse!" she charged into his bedroom without another word. Danny meanwhile snickered to himself as he shuffled to his fridge, he was suddenly feeling a tad peckish.

"Oi! Finish shaving before you go snacking!" Taylor called suddenly, "You'll look like a rabid dog," Danny's only response was a dramatic, long-winded dog howl.

Andy lit his first cigarette of the morning and leaned against the cold wall of his bus, unpleased at the rising heat that coated his pale skin in a light sheen of sweat. The blue sky still had wisps of the previous evening's indigo and the sun was burning down more intensely than he'd prepared for, which left him feeling rather stifled and uncomfortable, a stark contrast to the cool, air-conditioned environment of the bus he'd been in moments before. It was California days such as this that made him consider cutting back his long hair.

There was more time than usual to kill before the show today and Andy had hoped that everyone would partake in a drink or two whilst they threw around some new ideas, but the boys had instead wandering off for a pre-show meal before their own soundcheck. Left to his own devices, it hadn't take long until he had resorted to a shot of whisky in his coffee, then, feeling miserable, full of self-pity and not at all in the mood to write, he had wandered outside for a smoke.

He puffed his hair from his face feeling it already begin to stick to his forehead. Maybe it was time for a trim. He wondered what he'd look like if he buzzed it all off or changed his style completely. As he smoked, he considered the setlist they'd compiled, he checked his phone and scanned through his messages, he yawned several times and contemplated going back to his bunk, then he took a final drag deep into his lungs, watched it escape through his lips and disappear into thin strands of wispiness above his head before crushing the cigarette with the heel of his boot.

His boredom had gotten the best of him to the point that he decided to wander around the park to kill some time. With it being still early, vendors were still popping and setting up their tents and buses were slowly rolling into the parkade. He felt the eyes of some onlookers, either taking notice for his metal aesthetic or they recognized his long dreads and skinny physique from the posters and t-shirts that were being laid out for fans to purchase later on. Andy grinned suddenly when the familiar twang of rippling guitars ghosted through his ears and he headed towards the MainStage.

A few hours later Taylor stood to the side of the stage, feeling somewhat refreshed, though her head still clung to the smallest trace of a headache just to make her miserable. As if anything could be worse, she was still jet lagged and wanted to go back to bed. She tried to sleep it off in the van, but her tour manager, Robin, barely gave her a moments rest as she went through Taylor's schedule for the next week. Taylor was extremely grateful to have Robin as her manager -- she was the perfect composition of organized and kick-ass. But bloody hell, she was fucking persistent when it came to Taylor's scheduling. Perhaps that was why she had the job in the first place?

Danny was a fantastic showman, he held this charisma that just commanded everybody in the audience -- well, soundcheck -- to pay attention to him and his band: Asking Alexandria. Or perhaps everybody was just staring at that ridiculous fedora he had on today? When they got to soundcheck, Ben refused to let up on how ancient that hat made Danny look, as though he stepped out of a scene from The Great Gatsby.

"You said you'd love me for better or worse, Ben!" Danny cried dramatically.

"I didn't say I'd love that fucking hate, mate," Ben chided back.

Taylor loved watching the band perform, though today she found she couldn't get into their energy as much. She was too on edge, perhaps from the three cups of coffee she'd consumed before she left the flat -- sorry, apartment. She was too nervous for her own gig. Taylor looked over her shoulder at the empty field, a field which would soon be filled with cheering -- or jeering -- audiences. Taylor was new meat, one of the starting-acts, and that was daunting enough to make her stomach turn; and not just from the hangover.

She could still remember her first show back home in Gateshead; many of her friends were there, and they invited friends of friends and so on. Many loved her, others booed at her. Taylor could still hear the ridicule of one audience member who called her Joan Jett wannabe. That just made her want to work harder, prove to them that she was fantastic on her own. She wasn't trying to be the next Joan, or the next Debbie Harry, or Stevie Nicks. Taylor wanted to be the first Taylor Wray.

"This next one I'd like to dedicate to our good friend, Taylor Wray," Danny spoke into the microphone, eliciting little reaction from the stagehands and roadies who watched them. Taylor meanwhile grinned and gave Danny a little wave.

"This one's called 'I Used to Have a Best Friend, But He Gave Me An STD'," and with that, Taylor's smile vanished and she flipped her middle finger at him.

"Fuck you, Danny!" she shouted.

"Right back at ya', love!" Danny called back. With that, the band tore into the song and started jamming out.

Taylor rolled her eyes and instead pushed herself up to sit on the guard rail, tapping the heel of her leather boot in time to James' drum set. She jumped suddenly when she felt a buzz reside within the back pocket of her jeans. Her phone lit up with a text from Maxeen, the bassist of her touring band. She was just wondering what time soundcheck was.

The MainStage was within Andy's line of sight and he wandered through the grass and weeds to watch Asking's set. Watch -- and maybe heckle a bit. From the stage, Ben caught sight of his long-haired mate crossing the threshold, and he stopped mid-strum to wave him down. Lifting his head as he turned back to face his friend, Andy crosses the field, eager to watch his friends but stopped dead in his tracks when his brain caught up with his vision and he realized he wasn't the only spectator in the park.

Sat on the guardrail was a young woman, swinging her legs back and forth as her feet could just touch the second bar in her heeled ankle boots. Her vibrant, teal blue hair immediately caught Andy's attention. When she noticed Ben waving, she shifted to turn and spotted Andy coming her way. When Andy's gaze caught hers, he nearly lost his composure.

He knew it could have only lasted for seconds, that there was no way in which the consistency of time could have altered for him and his own sudden and ridiculous longing, but he could have sworn then, just for a moment, as he laid eyes on her for the first time, that everything fell deadly still around him and begged him to notice her.

And notice her he did.

Her eyes were big and round, lined in black eyeliner and glittered with green, shimmery eyeshadow that brought a warmth to her brown irises. Her jeans were ripped in the knees and the tattoos on her bare arms were on display in the oversized Abbey Road muscle tee she wore. Her thick teal curls flowed in the wind as she ran her free hand back through her locks and he noted the effort it took to detangle her fingers from the strands.

There was an abundant softness about her that made him sigh out loud, a gentle spunk that made him feel as if he'd damage her just from the intensity of his stare but she still gave off an ember of effervescent vibrance when she turned the corners of her lips up at him, his heart thudding against his ribcage just from the bravery in the way she held his gaze.

As if she could feel the way in which he thirstily drank her in, Taylor slowly looked him up and down, catching Andy off guard. He blinked once or twice, just to have something to do besides marvel at her and bit the inside of his cheek to confirm he wasn't dreaming, but now certain that she was looking at him, that her friendly smile was for him -- Andy just about melted.

[lemonsandstrawberries]

A Birthday Surprise

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: On his birthday, Steve keeps wakening up because Tony leaves the bed unusually early and it unfurls a whole array of odd events.

length: 1 577

a/n:  Happy Birthday, Steve and Happy and safe 4th of July to those of you who celebrate it! For this occasion, I bring you some domestic Stony fluff, which is my fav kind of fluff. if you enjoyed the fic, asks, reblogs and likes are needed and appreciated!

——————–

A Birthday Surprise

On his birthday, Steve had woken up exactly four times before leaving the bed. Which was rather unusual as on most of the days, he had a very regular sleeping pattern, but was a light sleeper, schooled to react to every sound, a skill he had acquired during his years as a soldier and which continued as an Avenger.

The first time he had opened his eyes was a few minutes after 4 am, so almost an hour earlier before his usual wake up time. It was a very subtle sound that woke him up and light movement following, covers pulling away from him, before held back, kept in place on purpose.

It wasn't like Tony to be a considerate sleeping partner - Tony could flop all over the place, kick the covers down or pull them to himself and wrap with the material, creating a cocoon. Other times, he tended to crash into Steve, rolling into his sleeping body with force and holding, looking for his husband's sleeping form and being a clingy octopus. Even if that usually woke Steve up, it was comforting and Steve quickly fell back to sleep, lulled by the sound of Tony's breathing and his warmth, unlike on those nights when Tony wrapped himself in the covers, and Steve had to wrestle some material from underneath him. So, even if Steve woke up, he decided to not give it away, because Tony clearly didn't want to disturb him. Tony tried to be all sneaky and quiet, slowly moving to the side of the bed, almost sliding, trying to evenly distribute his weight and not let the mattress dipping give him away. It would be a success, if not for the final part, when, probably he stepped on something on the floor, most probably the socks he had carelessly thrown to the floor the evening earlier, and spectacularly slipped and tumbled down the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thud and a bit back curse. Still, Steve didn't react, and Tony did neither, just staying still and out of Steve's line of sight. The moment continued, and Steve felt alarmed, thinking that Tony wasn't a klutz, but he had a history of unfortunate accidents while not fully rested, and Steve feared that maybe his husbands slipped so badly he somehow managed to bang his head, but before that thought could fully form, there was Tony's head popping up over the edge of the bed and very, very slowly, Tony stood up, taking his night robe and quietly tiptoed out of the bedroom.

Steve pulled his eyebrows together, thinking that it all was a bit odd because taking the night robe meant that Tony wasn't sneaking off to his workshop, he didn't go to the adjoined bathroom either and leaving the bed seemed a bit random.

"Eh," Steve shrugged it off and yawned, closing his eyes back to sleep, thinking that he didn't marry Tony for being an organized person, and his husband did have some adorable quirky qualities that made him more lovable.

The second time Steve woke up was not so long after the first time, maybe around 30 minutes later from the first one, and was much more abrupt. Steve smelled smoke. He sat up on the bed straight away, eyes darting around and trying to spot the flickering flame, his mind racing to get to Tony and get him out and alarm the other Avengers.

"Captain."

Steve's tensed shoulders jumped when Friday addressed him. Oh right. He was living in a highly technological building, if there would be a fire, Friday was the first to know and could activate the complicated line of sprinklers. False alarm.

"Friday, what's going on?" Steve rubbed his eyes, feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden wake up.

Friday didn't answer for a while, clearly hesitating.

"Nothing."

"Friday," Steve said in a firmer voice, hearing that 'nothing' from Tony too many times when it clearly was 'something'. Like father, like daughter.

"You can trust me on this one. Everything is fine."

"I should still check on Tony - "

"Tony is fine. You can go back to sleep."

Steve huffed a laugh, feeling that it was pointless to argue with the AI. And Friday had an eye on every corner of the Tower, so she certainly knew what she was doing. Even more, it seemed like she was covering for Tony... And if Tony was doing something truly dangerous, Steve trusted Friday to let him know. So, considering it all, it couldn't be that serious.

"Alright," Steve agreed, lying back in bed and pulling the covers to himself. "Just watch Tony for me, okay?"

"Always."

Hearing the reassurance, Steve drifted back to sleep.

The third time Steve woke up was at 5:10 am, his usual wakening up hour. He was still alone in the bed and sat up, not feeling exactly rested, the last two wake ups leaving a toll on him, but it was time to start his day -

"Steve."

"Yes, Friday?" Steve asked, luckily not smelling any more smoke, but having a feeling that he might not like what he would hear next.

"You should go back to sleep."

Ah. Not so bad. Just puzzling.

"Why?" Steve asked.

Another moment of silence.

"Just... Go back to sleep. He needs more time."

"Who, Tony?"

Friday didn't answer. Steve let out a long breath, trying not to think too much about it. He trusted Friday. He trusted Tony. He didn't like that Friday was so secretive and that Tony had sneaked away, but it couldn't be anything too horrible.

"Is Tony alright?" Steve asked, just needing to be sure.

"Yes, he is fine."

"Hm," Steve made a disapproving sound, feeling that Friday was withholding some information from him. But he did miss some sleep and didn't have anything urgent scheduled in the morning, so...

"Good night, Friday," Steve lay back in bed, pulling the covers to himself.

"Good night," Friday replied, sounding relieved.

The fourth and final time when Steve woke up was after 6 am, when it finally became orangish outside from the slowly rising sun. It was the most pleasant of all four times, and he woke up to a sweet smell and a warm baritone singing a song.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you - "

Steve stretched, he opened his eyes and looked around, before his eyes locked with Tony's. His husband was sitting in the middle of the bed on his knees and holding a tray and singing gently.

"Happy birthday, my Steve, happy birthday to you."

"What?" Steve smiled, lifting himself and leaning his back against the headrest. Tony, still in his night robe, was smiling with love at him, his face a bit tired, lit with the glow of the sunrise. Some claimed that no one looked good in orange, but Tony presented himself flawlessly, almost as some divine creature out of this world.

"Happy birthday!" Tony repeated in a bit louder voice, motioning to the tray. "Breakfast in bed!"

"Aw, babe," Steve cooed, looking at the contents of the tray and letting out a short, loud laugh. Freshly squeezed orange juice in a tall glass, a bright sunflower for decoration and a stack of steaming, fluffy pancakes, decorated with whipped cream and red, white and blue sprinkles, and fresh berries and a small American flag stuck on top. A truly patriotic breakfast on the 4th of July.  That explained the burnt smell from earlier and why Friday tried to keep him in bed. All to not spoil Tony's surprise.

"Thank you, honey," Steve leaned in closer, kissing Tony and strongly tasting coffee on his husband's lips. Well, Tony had to somehow keep himself awake.

"Eat up," Tony encouraged, putting the tray in Steve's lap, while he sat beside him and leaned over Steve's shoulder.

"You are not eating with me?" Steve asked, taking a fork and easily cutting through into the fluffy pancakes.

"This is all for you," Tony murmured, kissing Steve's shoulder, before putting his head back there. "And I had to eat all the burnt ones, so I am full," he said and made a displeased sound when Steve laughed, his shoulder jumping a bit and jostling Tony. "And I have a whole day planned for you! So, stock up on energy because you're gonna need it, birthday boy."

"Mhhhm," Steve smiled, savoring the sweet flavor of the pancakes and the spongy, melting in his mouth texture. Tony wasn't as bad in the kitchen as everyone assumed he was, but had some difficulties with properly measuring the time for cooking, so sometimes he burnt or left the food not fully cooked. This was perfect, just like Tony could perfectly make omelets and scrambled eggs, mastering the two simple dishes and elevating them.

After the breakfast, Steve stayed in bed longer than he had planned, solely because Tony fell to sleep on his shoulder, needing to make up for the shorter night and Steve didn't mind, maneuvering his husband into the covers and laying next to him, just soaking in the moment. Friday took the moment to wish him a happy birthday, and Steve thanked with a bright smile, proven to never doubt Friday. And when Tony woke up, they still stayed in bed, because the first thing on Tony's list of birthday activities involved a bed and two people in it and Steve, being the organized person he was, wouldn't argue with the schedule.

[tyrustrash]

Double Rainbow

Hey, all! Here’s my first Julie and The Phantoms fic! @caro-reads @random-nerd-3 I tagged y’all cause y’all seemed interested in the idea. It’s also on AO3 if anybody wants to read it on there. https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726482

He thought once he told them everything would be alright. His parent were assholes, which he figured they would be. That night had less yelling than expected, but just the right amount of disappointment. His father called him every slur in the book as he threatened to make things physical and his mother just cried and wondered where she went wrong. He gathered up everything that he thought was valuable before he stormed out of the house due to his father’s orders.

He walked to the closest park and rested on one of the benches. The rain came down hard. Good for him because it covered up his tears. He didn’t know what to do. He knew that his father wouldn’t immediately be open with having a gay son but hoped he would lighten up because they always told him they would always love and support him. He guessed he wasn’t the only one that lied.

With the flash of lightning, Alex jumped from the bench. He nearly dropped his phone on the concrete sidewalk. Without thinking about what he would say, he called one person he hoped wouldn’t be like his parents.

“What’s up,” the voice on the phone said. He knew Luke would answer even if it was late.

He couldn’t form a complete sentence due to his sobs. “Lu-Luke. I c-can’t. Please.”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” The concern in his voice seems sincere. It made him hope that it was real. “Just breathe. Tell me what’s going on.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t come out to him. He just lost his parents and he wasn’t ready to lose his best friends. “My parents just kicked me out.”

“What!” His shouting was loud enough to fill up the empty park. “What happened? Are you okay? Where are you?”

Alex got even more upset that he couldn’t tell him the whole truth. “I’m at Frankly Park, in the rain.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“What are you-” He couldn’t finish speaking because Luke hung up. He wanted him to stay on the phone longer. He wanted him. He wanted someone that would care about him.

A few minutes later, a car pulled up to the sidewalk. He recognized it as Emily’s car. He walked to it and got in the passenger’s seat. He noticed Luke in the driver’s seat with the most worried face he has ever seen.

“I’m sorry for getting the inside wet,” Alex said without looking at him. His voice was so faint that it felt like a ghost talking.

“I don’t care about that,” Luke told him. “I care about you. What happened? Are you hurt? Do I need to get Reggie?”

Hearing him mention Reggie made him begin crying again. It just hit him that his friends were all he had left and he couldn’t mess things up. He didn’t know how to tell them, nor did he know if they would even be cool with it.

“I just need somewhere to stay.”

“I know a place.” With that, Luke drove off.

A short drive brought them to a garage in a neighborhood. There wasn’t a house attached to it. Walking inside, there was some sort of setup for playing instruments with some couches on the side and a little bed area on the top floor. Alex looked at it in awe.

“What is this place?”

Luke went to the fridge and gave Alex a bottle of water. “Welcome to Sunset Curve’s new rehearsal studio. I was going to show you guys this weekend as a surprise. The original owners didn’t need it anymore and let me buy it off them real cheap. I wanted to set things up before we actually got started in here.”

Alex sat on one of the couches and took it all in. He looked up to the partial second floor which only consisted of bedroom supplies. He figured he could stay there. “Thanks for getting all this.”

“No problem.” Luke sat next to him. “My parents wanted us to find a new place because they wanted the house to be quiet. You can stay here as long as you need.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

“Nah, it’s our space now. You’re free to crash here for however long you need.”

Alex couldn’t be more grateful. Luke went out of his way to find them this space and was okay with him living there. Without thinking, he leaned over and gave him a hug. When Luke placed his hands on his back, it made Alex pull away quickly. He just realized he gave his male, and straight, friend a super close and tight hug. It got him thinking if he gave off any signs.

“It’s okay,” Luke said. “If you need a hug, I’m open. I don’t mind.”

Before he could let out any more tears, Alex got up and made his way to the bed on the second floor. “It’s alright. I just need to rest and clear my mind.”

Luke nodded and headed out. Before closing the door, he looked Alex in the face and said, “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears. And don’t ever forget that I love you. Reggie loves you. Hell, even Bobby to an extent loves you. You have people here for you.”

When Luke left, Alex started crying again. He thought about what Luke said. Would they really love him when he comes out? Would they end up being like his father? The world didn’t like people like him and most didn’t bother hiding their hate.

His father would make snarky remarks all the time about gay people and make it known that he believed straight was normal. One time when they saw two guys holding hands, his father covered Alex’s eyes and cursed at the guys because he thought they were going to poison him with their disease. When Alex asked what was wrong with them, his father simply explained that they were sick and needed help. When Alex said that he thought nothing was wrong with that, his father took him to church and had him pray for an hour until he caved and said what his father wanted to hear.

He remembered the first time he felt feelings for another boy. He was in eighth grade and there was a particular football player that he gravitated towards. Unfortunately, the football player happened to be his only friend at the time. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but to stare at him whenever they spent time together. He felt his insides shake just thinking about him. He finally understood what the other boys were talking about when they talked about girls. He worked up the courage to start a conversation with him to explain how he felt, but before he approached the boy, he saw that he had an anti-gay poster in his locker. That crushed his spirit and ended their friendship. Now he was worried that his current friends would think the same. He never heard them say anything alarming, but people could put on a show. So much was running through his mind that he needed to let it out somehow. He grabbed his journal and started writing exactly what his heart felt and every emotion running through his body.

Even though he shouldn’t, he wrote about what would happen if the guys ended up not liking him. He wrote about how much their friendship meant to him and how hurt he’ll be if they kicked him out. He wrote an apology to them for lying and not having enough faith in them. After a few tears hit the pages, he placed it on the little table and went to sleep.

A few weeks passed and Alex has yet to come out. He’s been alright around the guys and grew closer to them because of their extra time together. He felt safe with them, or that’s what he thought.

Over time in the garage, Alex has bought different rainbow and Pride-themed things to place around the garage to see how the others would react. It wasn’t much, just some cups, plates, blankets, and stickers for their instruments. It was his way of giving hints without saying anything, and to see if they would mention anything. He made sure that they didn’t see him bring it all in. He almost bought glitter but thought it would be too much.

One day, Alex was on the couch playing air drums when Bobby and Reggie came in and went to the fridge. They poured some orange juice in the rainbow cups.

Reggie took a sip and nudged Bobby. “Hey, man, do you know where all this random rainbow shit came from? It’s getting a little too fruity in here for my liking.”

Alex’s ears perked. He started feeling his heart sink lower into his stomach.

Bobby groaned. “Dunno, but hopefully more don’t show up. Don’t want to be turned.”

Bobby laughed and Reggie stayed silent as they made their way to the rehearsal area. Alex wanted to die. He didn’t want to believe that his only friends had those thoughts. He started having more thoughts the other day when Luke said he never wanted to think about kissing another boy. Alex stayed quiet as he listened to Bobby and Reggie.

“What does that mean?” Reggie asked. “I mean, it wouldn’t be bad.”

Bobby shook his head. “Yes, it would. Do you think that that’s right?”

“I mean,” Reggie said, which made Alex worry even more. “I don’t know. With everything the news says, I don’t know exactly what to think, but I do think a little that being homosexual is weird. I mean, girls are hot. I don’t know why guys wouldn’t be into them. However, it’s none of my business what they’re into. And I’m not going to assault them or say anything to them either.”

“I’ll say something.” Bobby’s voice was cold. Alex took note of Reggie’s facial expression of confusion. “As you said, girls are hot. Guys are supposed to like girls.”

“Says who?” They all turned to the backdoor and noticed Luke in the door frame. His tone was a mix of sarcasm and pissed off. “I didn’t know there was a rule stating who we had to like?”

“Come on, man. Don’t defend them as if you’re friends with them. I heard what you said. I remember our talks.”

Alex for sure wanted to die. His heart raced faster knowing that the three of them had talks where they expressed their dislike for people like him. He wanted to get up and run away, but that would look too suspicious.

Reggie got between Bobby and Luke. “Guys, let’s just calm down and talk reasonably.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about what the two of you have said to me, especially since all this rainbow shit started showing up.”

Luke approached Bobby. “Look, I didn’t really mean anything that I said. It was all for fun.”

“What did you say?” Reggie asked.

Luke rubbed the back of his head. “It was nothing. Just some jokes about how the queers like to shove themselves down our throats. That I feel like they check me out when I go to the gym and felt uncomfortable. Nothing serious. But it’s not as bad as what Bobby says.”

Bobby chuckled as if he wasn’t ashamed. “Yeah, but at least I have the balls to say something. Those freaks shouldn’t be out in public. I shouldn’t be afraid to be shirtless at the beach in case one of them tries flirting with me. If I catch one of them even thinking about me, I’ll beat the crap out of them. Those faggots can rot in hell.”

That was it. That was the final straw. Alex started hyperventilating and tried leaving. He stumbled on his way but managed to get out. He didn’t make it far, only to the trees behind the garage. Gasping for air, he passed out.

When he woke up, he was shocked. He was back in the garage and was on the bigger couch. He looked over and saw Luke and Reggie sitting at the table, both seem interested in something. Upon closer look, his eyes widened when he realized they were reading his journal. His heart couldn’t catch a break today.

He couldn’t do anything because they saw him. Their faces look like they’ve been crying for a while. Luke still had some tears rolling down his cheek. Alex’s feet couldn’t move for some reason when they started coming towards him. Next thing he knew was these two straight guys giving him the tightest hug that he has ever had. Alex joined them in the tears.

“We’re so sorry,” Luke said without letting go. “We’re so freaking sorry for what we’ve said. What Reggie and I said truly were meant as jokes, poor and tasteless jokes that shouldn’t have been said.”

Reggie was next. “We love you so much, Alex. We’re sorry for being the worst friends ever. We understand if you hate us. But let me tell you that you are our best friend and we never meant to hurt you.”

Alex’s sobs filled up the garage. He didn’t know what to believe. After hearing all the hurtful things that they have said, it was hard for him to be around them. But he could tell in their voice and face right now that they were genuinely sorry.

“Why?” Alex asked as he broke the hug. “Why would you even say those things? Or even think those things? Are you only saying this now because I’m your friend?”

Reggie got down on his knees and took one of Alex’s hands. “Alexander Oscar Cobb, you are our friend no matter who you are. We were monsters for what we’ve said, and we’re truly sorry and we want to change.”

Luke got down next and took his other hand. A little tear left his eye. “We don’t know why we said those awful things before. Please, you have to believe us when we say that we don’t hate you and we don’t hate others like you. We were just stupid boys that listened to the wrong crowd.”

“What about Bobby?” Alex asked as he stood and walked across the room. The other two followed him.

“He’s out,” Luke said. “We kicked him out of the band and the friend group. We don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Yeah,” Reggie chimed in. “He saw nothing wrong in his thoughts and didn’t want to change. He continued talking shit when he found out the truth.”

Luke moved to be in front of Alex and looked him in the eyes and said, “We promise to never make a dumbass comment again. We’ll learn and grow and do whatever it takes. You’re not just our friend, you’re our brother.”

So many thoughts ran through Alex’s mind that it felt like he was going to explode. He couldn’t risk making the wrong move, but he was pretty sure he was going to be happy.

“Thanks, guys,” Alex said as he took their hands again. “And I promise to be honest from now on. Your words mean so much to me and I hope we can all use this as a learning experience.”

At that, they had another group hug and gave supportive remarks to each other. Alex turned his head and stared out the window. He smiled seeing the double rainbow in the sky.